


A Thing of Beauty

by Morphine_drop



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Arasaka's done, Arasaka's done?, Canon-Typical Violence, Clones, Everyone Is Alive, F/F, F/M, Jackie's alive, Memory Loss, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Spoilers, ending fix-it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:22:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28196127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morphine_drop/pseuds/Morphine_drop
Summary: When her body turns out to be unable to host her psyche, V finds herself in a surprising predicament.She's alive, implanted into a clone of her old body, unable to remember what exactly happened in the cyberspace. Surrounded by friends and family she slowly recovers and learns how to deal with her new reality.But what happened to Johnny?
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Female V, Judy Alvarez/Panam Palmer, Misty Olszewski/Jackie Welles, past Rogue Amendiares/Johnny Silverhand
Comments: 24
Kudos: 175





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all. This is my first time posting my writings. Anywhere. Ever. Be gentle with me...  
> I finally completed the game and was absolutely unsatisfied with every ending I got, so I decided to create my own. Kind of a fix-it fic. I'm not sure how long this one will be, but if it goes according to plan I have in mind, it might turn into a 10-chapter thing. We'll see. I'll be adding tags as we go, as I still don't have a solid story prepared. Some things may change, so... 
> 
> Word of warning - the chapter wasn't beta'ed and English is not my native language. Any constructive criticism will be happily received.

Panam stood in front of the Arasaka’s old medical facility, looking up at it’s glass, shimmery form. It stood out like a sore thumb in the run-down outskirts of Night City. It was supposed to be the first step to gentrify the area and attract the rich gonks to build their fancy apartment and corpo buildings, but once V decided to end most of Arasaka’s plans by flatlining Yorinobu and Hanako, and throwing the organization into chaos, the building and it’s entire operation fell into the hands of the Mox. The gang decided to widen their field of work and turned it into a safe haven for joy girls and boys, slowly taking over the doll industry. Who would’ve thought Judy had it in her to run such a big operation. Who would’ve thought Suzie Q would even let her try. Who would've thought it would be the only place Panam could see her friend for god knows how long.

The nomad sighed and walked towards the entrance. She quickly passed the glass doors and a shiny reception desk, having memorized the way to the elevators by heart. She’s been here a dozen of times, whenever she could take a break from Aldecaldo’s business, and each time her hope would wither bit by bit. She felt guilty. She shouldn’t have agreed to let V go alone, but Saul needed help after Smasher almost crushed his skull. Thank god V’s reflexes were still fast enough to stop it from happening. She knew she couldn’t leave Saul alone, but the guilt was eating at her constantly. She almost lost two closest family members on the same day. Damn, she did lose two. Bob and Teddy. Fuck.

Panam leaned on the elevator’s wall and stared at herself in the mirror, that some snotty designer decided to fix between chrome and wooden panels. She looked exhausted. Her dreadlocks were hanging limply from a haphazardly made up-do and even her tan couldn’t hide the paleness of her face. She closed her eyes. Maybe this should be the last visit? Judy kept talking about the long process and the Relic’s lock down. About how V’s psyche is hanging somewhere in the cyberspace’s void, how no one can reach her. Not even Alt. And if Alt can’t, then maybe… Maybe it is time to say goodbye.

The elevator had finally reached the 19th floor where the ICU and surgery units were located. Panam walked into an open-space, separated by metal panels for a hopeful, minuscule sort of privacy. It was full of nurses, doctors and patients. Aside from helping joytoys, the Mox agreed to treat the poor. Once the info got out, plenty of people stormed the building to seek help. Thank god there were some ripper docs willing to help, and perverts willing to pay for dolls’ services. It was like an obscure circle of life. At least, thanks to the mobile nature of the business, the building itself could pass as any other corpotower. And the kids didn’t have to look at the Johns stumbling around, looking for braindance ports.

Panam walked across the open-space, making sure she didn’t accidentally knock into someone in the tights aisles, before she reached the glass doors with wobbly ICU written in neon pink. It never failed to make her smile. Things may change, but the gang people never will. The doors led her to a corridor punctured with wooden doors, each marked with a number - obviously written by the same person who made the sign on the entryway. Each of the rooms used to be an office of some slightly-more-important corpos, now they worked as private intensive care rooms.

The corridor was almost empty, only two or three nurses would walk between rooms, making sure each patient was stable and not in need of immediate attention. The echo of their footsteps mixed with the beeping of the machinery. It felt as if the corridor itself was aware of the death waiting patiently for one of those poor fools to finally give in. 

V’s room was dark. The windows were covered and the only source of light was a dim LED lamp and a large cylindrical container pushed against a wall to make as much space as possible. Inside the container, Panam saw V. Well… almost V. The body was floating in fluid, connected to tubes to make it breathe and to supply nourishment. It was still too thin, too fragile. Almost no muscle mass and hair. Judy informed Panam that the doctors had noticed first eyelashes appear along with fingernails and short fuzz of hair on her head. It was apparently good news, but not good enough. V was still lost, her body still not ready to accept her psyche. It was like watching a pie bake in an oven and remembering way too late you’ve forgotten the key ingredient. And yet, Panam felt she had to come and visit it. Cloning or not, V inside or not, this body was supposed to bring her friend back. And from the start, since that one phone call from Jackie late in the night, she knew she had to be here. She owed it to V.

Panam walked inside the room and closed the doors behind her. She could sense the cameras fixed on her body. They were armed with semi-automatics. Something River managed to get his hands on and send over to the Mox. Always ready to shoot her on the spot in case she tried anything. She wouldn’t. But the idea that V was safe in her bullet-proof glass pipe and guarded 24/7 let her sleep a bit better during the night. After all, not everyone could be trusted. 

Panam took one of the chairs stacked up in the corner and sat herself in front of the container. For a moment she sat silently, looking for any sign on the body’s neutral face. A sign of anything. V wasn’t inside, not yet, but sometimes Panam could swear she saw it change expressions for a moment, while she’d tell it the stories about what the Aldecaldos were up to. Like that time when she was talking about how some newbie fried Basilisk’s left engine when he accidentally dropped a grenade in the hangar. The body seemed to scrunch it’s nose as if it was annoyed. But as soon as Panam noticed, the expression was gone and the smooth blemish-less face was back to it’s blank state.

“Hi, V. Haven’t seen you in a while. Jude’s been telling me you’re making progress. All organs ready to fire up, getting stronger each day. Can’t wait for you to wake up, girl. The moment you get green light from the nerds I’m taking you out for drinks. Gonna look for some nice looking guns, smash the glass, set the pool table on fire. Just like that one time when…”  
Panam went silent. She looked at the green-lit liquid, at the small bubbles floating up to the surface. The weightlessness with which the body gently floated up and down as the water slowly moved through the filter pump and back. It was so surreal. 

Suddenly the doors opened and a nurse came in with V’s chart. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t notice you come in. I just wanted to check up on her,” the nurse smiled at Panam, strolling towards the machinery next to the tank. 

Panam smiled back and pushed herself deeper into the chair, “It’s ok. I’m only here for a minute. Wanted to see how she’s doing.”

“Very well, actually. Everything’s forming in an optimal time, the nervous system has grown perfectly. No seizures whatsoever. The doctor’s said she’ll be ready for the implant in no time.”

“That’s good.” Panam sniffed and straightened her jacket before standing up and walking towards the door, “I’ll let you finish up in peace. I need coffee. Just… I was wondering if you could pass a comment from me to the cloning guy?”

The nurse looked at Panam over her shoulder and raised her eyebrows, waiting.

“V has tattoos. Could someone make sure the tats are there when she wakes up? She'd probably be pretty pissed they were gone.”

The nurse stood quiet for a moment, as if debating what to say to the nomad. She bit her lip, looked down on the chart and finally said, quietly but firmly “I know I don’t know her and it’s not really my place to say anything, but this will be a fresh start for her. Maybe she should decide for herself once she wakes up.”

Panam stared at the woman in silence, the hand on the door frame squeezing hard over the metal. She swallowed heavily, then nodded and walked out. 

She didn’t return to V’s room for another three weeks.

***

She wasn’t sure how long it had been. Floating in and out of consciousness, unable to open her eyes, or move a finger. A feeling similar to being washed and rocked by waves of the sea, a sensation she remembered from her childhood days. Just drifting on the water surface without possibility to decide where she’d be sent by the water. Sometimes she could hear beeps and whirring of machinery, a calm humm reaching her from somewhere far in the darkness. She wasn’t sure if that was the sound of hell or heaven, but it reminded her of the sounds Adam Smasher’s metal form made before she pulled the trigger and ended his transmission. Moments before her own body gave up on her. Moments before the red light of Mikoshi disappeared and her vision went black. 

She remembered Hanako’s face when she stormed into that conference room, Panam on her side, guns blazing and ready for the kill. But she couldn’t remember what happened then. Next piece of memory was Alt, murmuring something into her ear, Johnny yelling, the cold of the cyberspace. And the moment she died. She was so afraid of it before, always trying her best to avoid it, though it was always right at her trail. She could sense it the most while sitting slumped on that red plastic chair on the rooftop in Watson District. It was breathing it’s cold breath down her neck, bony fingers reaching for her hand, and yet, thanks to Johnny, she decided to run for the last time. After all, nomads don’t give up.

Oh, Johnny… V often thought about him, wondering what happened to him. Did he take her body? Did he join Alt? She missed his constant yapping and complaining. She never would have thought that without him she’d feel so lonely. It was too quiet without him. 

V tried to hum some of the old Samurai songs he made her listen to, always pushing the suggestion to the front of her mind that Lizzy Wizzy was shit and there’s nothing better than old school punk and rock. She hasn’t realized “her music taste” changed until Judy mentioned it during one of their rides. But she couldn’t blame the guy. He was simply clinging to what he knew and recognized, just as she was doing right now by trying to remember and relive as many memories as possible. Death might be scary, but losing herself was even worse in her eyes.

Finally, at some point she started noticing voices. They were unrecognizable at first, just a bunch toneless sounds slowly forming into words. Wake. Come. Bitch. Sorry. Valerie. No one’s called her by name in such a long time… Once she heard it, V found hope. Maybe she wasn’t dead? Were those memories, slowly turning into reality as her mind started to slip? Or was it something else? Maybe they were looking for her? But who was it? She had to know. 

V took a deep breath and with all the strength she possessed, she forced her body to respond. The water around her suddenly felt like concrete, surrounding her and making her unable to move. But she had to. She pushed herself, her entire being, fighting the sudden pain that shot through her entire being, until finally she felt the water-concrete crumble and her finger move. She stopped immediately, exhausted, waiting for what would happen. Instead of the water swallowing her up, like she’s feared, a shout reached her louder than before. 

“V!” 

She knew that voice. Rouge…

***

V must have passed out, because the next time she became conscious the darkness had turned to dark grey, the water was back to it's gentle liquid form and the sounds of machinery were louder than before. And someone was singing. An echo of a soft deep voice and guitar humming was surrounding her, soothing her nerves spiked by the surprising changes. The song was beautiful, something about gentleness and the horizon, and hope. V couldn't recognize the voice, but she felt an overwhelming need to comfort the singer. He sounded hurt, on the verge of tears. She took a deep breath and concentrated on moving again, hoping that it wouldn’t hurt this time. 

But it did. A searing pain seized her body even worse than before, her consciousness wavering. She screamed, crying out as her muscles cramped and twisted, as if someone was wringing her like a wet towel. Her heart was pounding in her chest faster than ever before and her throat constricted. In panic, V moved her hands towards her neck and scratched, trying to do anything she could to stop the crushing of her windpipe, not realizing it was her first time moving her body in a long time. She could feel her tongue swell, her lips turning numb, her face twitch as she tried her best to take a breath…

Suddenly, the crushing sensation finally went and V felt her body sit up as if forcefully pushed forward and she took a deep, loud, wheezing breath. The bright light blinded her, the frantic yells and sounds surrounded and overwhelmed her for a moment. A pair of hands landed on her shoulders, pushing her down on the sterile looking bed while another grabbed her leg and quickly injected her with something. Whatever it was, her body started relaxing instantly, the pain almost completely gone. The last thing V noticed before passing out again was a large syringe and a needle embedded in the very middle of her half-exposed pale chest, visible from between pieces of torn hospital gown. 

Then she finally fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

"The implantation was successful."

Panam looked at her phone in silence, re-reading the message that blinked unto her screen some time ago. She sat, frozen in place. For a moment she thought it was a joke. Or a dream. She almost pinched herself before scowling at the ridiculous idea and shook her free hand off like it was covered in something disgusting. 

It's been a while since she saw the body. She couldn’t. That nurse’s comment threw her off. Made her realise that it all may not work. The implantation could fail, the engram could be damaged. V could not be V anymore. At least not the same one she met months ago when she swaggered over to her car and demanded her help in kidnapping some asshole. Hellman, that was his name. Panam hated her so much back then, until they really got to know each other, and from an annoying street cockroach messing up her plans, V became one of the closest people she'd ever known. The idea she’d be lost... Judy would send her an update from time to time, which was usually a simple "she's ok". She was pissed at her. God, Panam was pissed at herself too. But she just couldn’t look at that husk anymore. It was too hard. But now? 

She raised her eyes, looking for any signal that the others knew. Mitch would occasionally help out at the med center, setting up the equipment and fixing whatever was broken. He should be in contact with someone. He probably would know, right? But Mitch was still standing by the armory, rummaging through a new box of scraps that newbies dragged in this morning. 

Panam looked back down at her phone and re-read the message again. It was still the same four words. So, it was true. It WAS true! She threw her head back and broke into a fit of laughter, feeling teers slide down her cheeks. 

V was alive. V IS alive! Thank God! 

Panam grabbed her jacket, and rushed towards her car. She accidentally bumped into Saul, almost knocking him to the ground.

“Hey! Panam! What the fuck?!” he yelled once he got his balance, making sure he didn’t spill the cup of hot coffee over himself.  
“V! She’s alive!” Panam yelled, not even looking back at him. When she reached her car among the cheers from other Aldecaldos, she opened the door and threw herself onto the driver’s seat. She sped off in a cloud of dust towards the facility.

***

Two hours and ten cigarettes later Panam was finally standing in the Arasaka med's elevator. Annoyed. Together with River Ward, whom she picked up on her way there, as per Judy's request. Something about a totaled car and "Just fuckin do it! God… V would want to see him. They have this... weird bond going on.". So she agreed, even though the idea of driving an ex-cop in her private car through the Night City's slums was not her idea of fun evening. And it was just as awkward as she expected it to be.

She picked him up right next to some trailer park. It looked as run down as any downtown part of the city, but this one was different. There were kids running around, screaming and laughing. Someone was listening to music while working on an ancient lookign car in a driveway two houses away. People in front of the trailer she parked next to were in the middle of a potluck, apparently having an absolute blast. Their roaring fits of laughter would reach her through the opened windows, making her smile too. The neighbourhood was cheerful, full of energy. Almost made her want to get out and join in the fun. 

But then He appeared. Standing out like a sore thumb, stiff and serious, River Ward walked out of his home and stopped by the fence. His mechanical eye implant added more severeness to his already severe-looking face. And he was wearing a goddamned coat. With a fur collar. Jesus…

Panam let out an annoyed sigh before punching the horn with a clenched fist and waving her hand through the window once his eyes zeroed in on her. He turned towards the kids playing behind him, smiled (to Panam's absolute surprise), said his goodbyes, turned towards her again and approached her with grace of a pissed off rottweiler. 

"Panam?" he asked, giving her a once-over. Probably scanning her. Bastard.

"Yep. You Ward?"

"Yeah."

“Cool. Get in.”

The rest of the drive was silent. 

From time to time Panam would look at him from the corner of her eye. She couldn't figure out why V liked the guy so much. She saw him once or twice on the video messages and calls V would make after gigs they’d done together. Always lurking in the background. Always quiet, except that one time he got shot and V called Panam on her way to Vic's place. All the grunting and moaning made the rest of the camp tease her for a couple of days and Panam learned that it’s never a good idea to take V’s calls on loudspeaker.

Even now, being on his way to see V awake and aware for the first time in months, he looked disinterested. The only thing betraying him was the fact he couldn’t stop picking at his fingers. Maybe it was just his cop approach towards strangers. Or nomads. 

Sick of the heavy atmosphere and the silence, Panam turned to him and raised her eyebrow, “I was wondering… V once told me a story. Something about a wedding?”

Ward looked at her surprised, before frowning.

“I wasn’t sure if she made it up or not, I mean…”

“Shut up.”

Panam smiled and pulled out her phone. After a moment she found the voice message she was looking for and pressed the play button. Suddenly V’s slurred speech filled the elevator.

"Panam, oh em gee! HAHA! List… listen to this. Ok, so. Like, you know River, right? I tooooold you about himmmm. Got his PI licence today soooooo we went partying! It was EPIC! But guess what! The goddamned gonk decided we should crash a wedding. Hahaha! Some corpos, high-class… whatever. Boring. Aaaanyway, noone would’ve notice us. But! Ward walked up to the bride, right? And… and said something about a gift. And fuckin KISSED HER! IN FRONT OF HER HUBBY! Then he ran like crazy to the gift table thingy and took one. We had to split cos som-someone started shooting! At us! Hahaha! Sooooo we go back to the car, speeding off like crazyyyy. Told him to check what he took. Guess what was inside! A goddamned waffle maker", V cackled through the phone, wheezing with laughter "He almost cried when he realised what he took! His old one broke a week ago and he wouldn't shut up about it!" 

The recording ended with a loud belch and V saying something about feeling sick.

Ward was standing there with a horrified face, staring at Panam’s phone.

“Either she was high and had a weird dream or you’re not as stiff as you seem, officer”.

“Delete it.”

“Wha… Ha! No way.”

“Delete it now!” barked Ward, his face red and fists clenched at his sides. Someone was being touchy… 

Not wanting to make the situation worse, she moved her finger over the phone screen and deleted the file. 

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Panam pushed her phone into her pocket and kept her eyes glued to the numbers marking each floor they passed. It was back to awkward silence. Fuckin’ spoilsport. She huffed, willing the elevator to finally reach the 19th floor, when a large tanned hand entered her line of vision. There was a single wrapped piece of mint gum laying in the middle of his palm. She looked at Ward with raised eyebrows, an unspoken question hanging in the air.

"You smell like an ashtray" Ward said matter of factly, "V hates smoking."

Panam looked back down at the thing, blinked, then took it with a shaking hand. She ripped the wrapper open and popped the gum into her mouth. 

"Thanks. I know. You're right.", she said, slowly chewing away the taste of nicotine.

"No prob. And sorry." 

After a moment of silence between them Panam smirked and asked "Ya got some perfume on ya, too?"

River looked back at her with a straight face. "Yeah. Let me check my purse."

They both laughed. 

Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

***

"Hey girl. How're you feelin'?'' asked Judy standing in the doorway with a shaky smile. She looked almost the same, maybe a bit tired. And the green and purple almost washed out of her hair, leaving it in watery pastel shades. She was wearing an oversized cardigan, somethin V had never seen Judy wearing before. And would never imagine her buying one, either. Curious.

V smiled back and pushed herself up to sit, "Heeyyy Judy… I’m better. Though it's weird seeing no tattoos on me." She ran her fingers down her left forearm. 

"You can always get them done again."

"And fuck up this brand new baby skin? Hah! Nah, i'll keep it clear for now.”

Judy walked inside the room and sat on the chair next to the bed. V was still a bit too skinny, but she looked healthier than ever. The bio's worked hard on the clone. Damn, even though Judy knew she'd look the same, she didn't expect how close to the riginal it would be. Even her freckles were in exact same places, scattered over her cheekbones and a now-straight nose. V used to set it herself each time it was broken during a fight or a gig, so it was always a bit crooked and bumpy. 

It was weird seeing her now. There were no bruises, no cuts. She somehow looked naked. Judy remembered the first time she saw V. She was in that ripped jean vest that was probably older than both of their ages combined. Short, ginger, big hair, with scars running from the corners of her lips halfway towards her ears. Judy asked her about those one time, when they decided to have a couple of shots some days after Evelyn had died. V only shrugged, took another shot and smiled at her. “Just one of those crazy stories. You’re not ready for it.”

Now, without the little things that made V V, she looked almost like a stranger.

Her hair was still short, sticking out in unruly locks in random directions. It would grow at normal speed, now that she's out of the tube, though she’d have to get used to the idea that supplements and omega-blockers will be a part of her daily routine until the nerds decide she’s in the clear. Last thing they needed was her new body rejecting the implant. But she was here. Finally. Thankfully.

"What happened?", asked V after a moment of silence, staring at her hands. "The last thing I remember was talking to Alt. Now I'm here. In a goddamned Arasaka building of all places."

Judy thought for a moment, trying to figure out what she would say. V was out for two days after the implantation, barely awake most of the time. The bio's just finished testing her cognitive functions. It was too early to have this conversation, but she knew she owed V something. Judy cleared her throat and leaned back into the plastic chair.

"You were found in the Arasaka Tower basement by Pan. Barely alive. She took you to Misty. Vic fixed you up as well as he could. But.. We had to clone you. Vic said the neurochanges were too far gone. Started to reject your psyche. Long story short, we got you a new bod. And now you’re here."

“Just like that?”

“Well… it took some time. Finding specialists that weren’t on Arasaka’s payroll and ready to sabotage the whole operation was a bit hard. But Jackie found someone and dragged them over from Atlanta. We managed to convince Alt to release you and we kept your engram secured until the body was ready.”

“Where’s my original body?”

“Buried.”

V nodded. Her face fell and eyes seemed to water. She closed her eyes and reached with her hand to rub her forehead, as if fighting an approaching headache. 

“And Johnny?”

Judy sniffed and crossed her arms over her chest, “We don’t know. Alt refuses to talk. I'm sorry V. I know you've mentioned you two had a deal." After a moment of silence, Judy sighed and continued, "Listen, I think it’s best if you don’t worry too much right now. You gotta get back on your feet, can’t stay in bed forever. Besides, Panam and Ward will be here soon.”

V looked at Judy with a strained smile and laid back on the pillows, “Awesome. Think we could get something a bit stronger to drink? I’m not a fuckin’ plant”. She pointed at the glass of water standing on the small table next to her bed.

“You’re in a hospital.”

“And you’re a negative Nancy. Come on… if I can’t celebrate my return to the world of the living, what else would I cheer for?”

Judy snorted and stood up, “No way. But I can promise we’ll throw you a proper party once you’re out of here. Deal?”

“Yeah, yeah…” said V with a sly smile on her face, “get your ass ready then. It’s gonna be wild.”

“Like everything with you... Ok, I need to run and check on something. I’ll be right back.”

As Judy entered the corridor, she noticed Panam and River approaching with smiles on their faces. Suspicious... Once they were close enough, they exchanged pleasantries and both guests moved towards the door. Before River could follow the nomad, Judy stopped him by grabbing his arm.

“Hey, just wanted to know if you’ve found anything.”

“Ah, yeah. I was gonna call you earlier, but then you texted me and...” River sighed and looked around to make sure no one was near. He leaned closer to Judy and started talking in a hushed tone, “We checked the cams around the shop and within 2 mile radius. Nothing. It’s like the body just… disappeared. We tried BD, but it was clean. Not a single car approached Vic’s place, there was no one strange getting near the basement. I was actually hoping you could double check, since you’re the pro... “

“Sure, of course.”

River pulled out a shard from the dock behind his ear and handed it over to Judy. 

“You kept it plugged in all this time?”, Judy asked, closing her fist over it. 

“No safer place. I’ll go see her now. If you find something, let me know.”

“Have fun. I’ll be back in a second.”

“See ya.”

***  
Back in the room Panam was sitting on the bed, holding V’s hand in a firm grasp. She had to make sure she was real, that she was truly there. Both women were looking at each other, looking for any changes, for any proof that it was a dream. But it wasn’t. Panam swallowed heavily before gathering V into her arms, sobbing. Her sister was back. She was back! She could feel V crying into her neck, the tears on her skin were as real as the air Panam sucked into her lungs after each cry. She couldn’t help the wide smile that bloomed on her face, a first real one since the whole mess had started.

"You stink." mumbled V before they both laughed.

"You too."

They clinged to each other, finding comfort in the closeness and warmth, before a short cough caught their attention. Ward smiled at them from the doorwah and approached the bed in more relaxed movements. He looked at Panam briefly, seeking any sign of protest, before pulling V away and wrapping his huge arms around her fragile frame. V laughed, rubbing her flushed face with one hand while the other closed over a tuft of fur on River’s collar. She missed seeing that stupid thing. And missed those two idiots next to her. She remembered the terror she felt before waking up in the void. She was so scared she’d never see them again. And yet, here they were. V opened her eyes and reached for Panam again, pulling her into the hug and laughed. She felt like her heart was about to burst.

After a couple of moments they finally untangled and settled into their seats. V layed back on her pillows, looking from River to Panam, making sure they wouldn’t disappear into thin air. Finally, she broke the silence.

“Please tell me one of you brought tequila?”

“Jesus, V… you just woke up!” Panam exclaimed with a wide grin. 

“I’m joking! Judy already told me it’s not good for me. Anyway, where’s Jackie? I haven’t seen him in months, since Padre had sent him on that gig…”

“He told me he’d be back soon. He went back to Atlanta after he brought the cloning guy. He said had something to finish back there. He’ll be back as soon as possible. By the way, I have your phone with me. You could call him.” with that River handed V her sticker-covered phone. It was the ugliest thing he’d ever seen, but it was her's. He got it from Judy when they moved V to the Fascility. Wanted to make sure no one in the building would try and take it, in case there were any sensitive information on it. Knowing V there were indeed. To think he was ready to throw the damned thing into the trash at least a couple of times. It kept his hopes up that everything will be fine. 

“Thanks, River. How’s Joss? And the kids? A little birdie told me I’ve missed quite a bit of time.”

“Everyone’s ok. Monique won that contest you helped her prepare for. She couldn’t stop talking about it for days.”

V smiled and sighed, “Good to hear. I hope you’ve recorded the whole thing?”

“Of course. Who do you think I am? I’ll send it to you later.”

“Good. That choreography was so painful to plan.” 

After a moment of comfortable silence, V raised her eyes to the ceiling and sighed. 

"Was Rouge here to see me when i was out?"

Panam looked at her surprised, "Yeah. She was. Came over a couple of times, actually. The staff kicked her out when she started yelling at you. Wanted you to wake up. Was screaming something about Silverhand."

V squeezed her eyes shut. Of course. 

"Kerry was here too. He'd sit and play on his guitar. Said he'd heard somewhere that coma patients can hear everything. Tried to tell him you weren't in one, but he insisted. Nice guy."

"I thought I've heard someone singing. So it was Ker? God, he sounded so sad…"

"We all were so worried about you. Thank god you're ok" said River and reached for V's hand. "You know, I have a couple of gigs waiting for you to help me with."

V smirked, "Help? More like do them for you, officer."

"Fuck off," River barked a laugh and let go of her hand to sit more comfortably, then watched as V yawned widely and rubbed her eyes with her pale fingerss.

“Tired again? Haven’t you slept long enough?” said Panam jokingly. 

“I suppose I have. You guys just suck all of my energy away, as always.”

“Should we go?”

“Nah. Stay for a while. I’ll just close my eyes for a second. I wonder where Johnny is…”

“V…” said River, but before he could utter another word, she was already out. He looked at Panam, who seemed as unsettled by her question as he was. They waited a bit longer to make sure V was asleep, before River nodded at Panam and walked towards the door. Once they finally reached the makeshift waiting room At the end of the hallway, Panam sat down with a heavy sigh and looked at River.

“What do we do? We’ll have to tell her soon enough. She’ll start asking more questions.”

“I dunno. We have no idea what happened. All we know is that the body is still missing. Could be Arasaka…”

“Or Johnny. Maybe he woke up in her body and walked away.”

“I doubt it. Unless he was very skilled in netrunning he wouldn’t be able to walk past the cams unnoticed. And he was a goddamned rockerboy.”

“Maybe Alt helped him?”

“Maybe. But there is no way of reaching her now. Besides, I doubt she’d be willing to talk. The whole situation is a goddamn mess.”

Panam nodded, “So, what now?”

“Now? Now we wait till she’s feeling good enough. Take her home.”

“Actually, I was thinking V should go with me. Aldecaldos will keep her safe. And she could use some fresh air.”

“Maybe… maybe you’re right.”

“I often am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the Kudos :)  
> They really motivate me to keep writing.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this one!
> 
> Any comments are welcomed :) I hope they will help me improve my writing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm sorry it took me so long to write this one. I was wrestling with a couple of different approaches to this chapter. I hope you will like what I decided to go with.
> 
> Thank you so much for the Kudos and comments :) I really appreciate them.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this one.
> 
> Happy New Year!

Chapter 3

The first time he felt safe was in the darkness of the Badlands. Or, at least safe enough to sit down and focus on something other than panicked impulses to "run" and "survive". He was far away from the road and the city, that stretched over the horizon like a fluorescent wet dream of any corpo-rat. It looked shockingly different, almost unrecognizable. How was that even possible?

His heart was beating like crazy, hands shaking and legs faint from the wild sprint from one alley to another, trying to avoid being seen at any cost. He must've been running for hours. Ever since he got out of that basement he didn’t recognize, where he woke up.

He was completely confused. Last thing he remembered was sneaking through the Colombian jungle, looking out for the rebels who were waiting for any opportunity to open fire. To kill. The air was damp and hot, he could feel his sweat seeping through his uniform, attracting mosquitos that would always buzz next to his face and arms. He turned to look at Welles and Fernandes, making sure they were still there. They never knew when the narcos would hit and in a matter of seconds leave one of them abandoned among the thick green blur of the jungle. They were quiet and deadly. They knew the area much better than any stranger could even hope to. Thankfully the guys were still with him, equally scared, but ready for anything. And just after he heard a round of bullets flying over his head, it all went black. 

Next thing he remembered was the cold of a metal table he was lying on, and the sounds of the city coming from the outside. His head was pounding, vision blurry and his mouth felt horribly dry. He tried to look around the room he’s found himself in, but could barely see anything in the weak streetlight coming through the tiny window underneath the ceiling. Where am I?, he thought. What the fuck happened?!

But there was no one to answer his question, and he wasn’t ready to wait for someone to show up. He closed his eyes, trying to calm down. He had to find his way out. But how?

Suddenly a blue loading bar appeared before his eyes, moving in sync with his pupils. Then, letters. Hacks? But they were only used by special forces… He tried to focus his eyes on a tv standing on the other side of the room and a list of available actions appeared on the left side of his vision. He focused on one of them and suddenly, the TV exploded in sparks. He couldn’t help a triumphant smile that appeared on his face, before looking for another target.

There were three cameras fixed high in the corners of the room, swiping the view in methodical movements. Of course. Someone must be watching him. The cameras didn’t seem to notice his movements, though, as none of them focused on him. Without much thought, the disabled each of them. Success! The moment they chirped and stopped working, he pushed himself up from the table, trying his best to hold back the painful groan. He felt stiff as if he’d been lying there for days. But the moment he sat and dangled his legs over the edge of the table he noticed another unsettling detail that had somehow escaped him before. He. Had. Tits.

He stared down at his chest for a moment, slowly moving his hands to hover over his chest. But before he could go for a bewildered grab, he stopped and looked at his fingers. Some fucker gave him neon mani! Or not..? The digits were too long and slim to be his - he was a working man, a soldier, there should be calluses and burn scars and half-healed cuts. The only blemish he noticed was a darkened piece of skin between thumb and index finger. Something he was used to, after years of shooting a gun. He shook his head, making a couple or orange locks fall into his face. He had no time for this, he’ll figure out how to handle this issue once he gets out of here - wherever here was.

It took him quite some time to get out of the basement and reach the rock he was sitting by right now. He planted his hands on each side of his hips into the sandy ground and tried to take a couple of deep breaths. Sucking in wheezing puffs of cold desert night air between his cracked lips, hoping it would calm him down. But his body seemed completely exhausted. The idea itself was ridiculous. He was used to jogging for hours, often with heavy guns on top of his equally heavy backpack. It was as if his body wasn't complying with his mind. Which, of course it wasn't. Not fully. Still...

He knew he had to figure something out. He had contacts, of course, but he had no idea whom to trust right now. He knew Night City, or what it used to be a couple of months ago, but he wasn’t sure who had betrayed him, and since betrayal was the only logical explanation to his current situation… He closed his eyes, trying to collect his thoughts. He was a soldier, goddamn it. He was trained to survive in worse situations. But somehow physical torture at hands of narcos seemed a much better alternative to being stuck in some girl’s body. A netrunner’s body. 

“Fuck!” he exclaimed hitting his fists over the ground. “FUCK!” 

He could feel hot tears roll down his face, panic overtaking him again.   
He had to figure something out.  
***  
Jackie was tired. He’s been driving for hours without much of a rest, anxious to see V alive and well. The Badlands were stretching unbelievably long, almost never ending, until he finally saw the lights of the Night City in the distance. Not much longer. Almost there.

He was stuck in Atlanta for months, ensuring a steady cooperation between the Valentinos and the Beasts to create a new line of cybernetic trade. Padre gave him the job, claiming that he was the best choice, as an impartial side. He knew Valentinos well, as an ex member, and knew how to appeal to the Beasts’ sentimentality. Thank god it was over. Night City’s ripper docs should expect a new supply within the next few days.

Jackie sighed and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. He was ready to crash into his bead and sleep for days. Instead... Just as he drove under the viaduct near Republic East, he noticed a shadow appear on the road. Before he had a chance to hit the breaks, someone landed on his car’s hood like a ton of bricks, making the machine skid aggressively from one side of the road to another. Jackie yelled, both hands clutching the wheel. His heart was ready to jump out of his chest when the car finally stopped. Jackie sat motionlessly, staring at the pair of hands gripping the side of the windshield, clutching the metal like it was soft clay. Slowly, the person raised their beanie-clad head and to Jackie’s absolute shock, a stunned face of none other than V stared right back at him. In a second he kicked the doors open and rushed over to the front of the car and hovered his hands over her back, afraid to touch her.

“V?! Puta mierda! What… What are you….?”

V groaned and started turning over, ignoring Jackie’s protests and stared up to the sky. 

“Who the fuck is V…?”

Jackie looked at her, completely lost or words. “Y-you! YOU are V! What… Where the fuck did you come from?!”

V raised her finger to the viaduct, a piece of her jacket still hanging off an exposed wire. Finally, she moved her eyes toward him. They widened in surprise, “Bill? Bill Welles? The fuck did you do with your hair? What are you...”

And like that she was out. 

Jackie stared at her in silence, trying to comprehend what in the hell just happened. He must have been standing there for minutes, before a sound of NCPD’s approaching cars broke his trance. He quickly scanned her body and once he was sure there were no major injuries, he picked her up, threw her on the back seat and sped off towards his garage. 

The moment he pulled up and turned off the engine, he grabbed his phone and dialed Judy’s number. He had to know what happened. V was supposed to be in the facility! She almost died for fuck’s sake! And now she was jumping into traffic in the middle of the night?! Fuckin Moxes…

It took four dial tones before Judy picked up, her face pale and exhausted as it jumped into view on the holo, “Hey Jackie! You’re back already? V is waiting for you in her room.”

“Wha… she is?”

“Yesss… last time I checked. And I checked on her five minutes ago. She said she won’t sleep until she sees you. So, you’re gonna visit today?”

Jackie looked in the rare view mirror. V was still there, sleeping. What in the fuck was going on…

“You know, Judy… I’m sorry but I was driving for days. I need some sleep, and since she seems to be in good hands… Tell her I’ll see her tomorrow?”

“Oh yeah, sure. Sorry. It’s been crazy since she woke up. I myself haven’t slept for the last 3 days.”

“OK Judy, goodnight then, see you tomorrow” Jackie spat out quickly and ended the call, throwing the phone on the passenger seat. 

If V was still with the Mox, then what the fuck was going on with the one on his back seat? Jackie turned to look at her with scrutinizing eyes. She looked the same as the last time they saw each other. Right after the Arasaka heist when they decided to split and lay low, until the whole chaos died down a bit. They only talked on the phone, neither of them having much time on their hands. He knew about the troubles with the Relic. About how she was slowly dying. About the Silverhand guy…  
Wait a minute… Silverhand! Of course! They’ve never met, he wouldn’t know Jackie, right? But how would he know his father? 

Jackie left the car and opened the garage doors. Once inside, he placed a chair in the middle of it, walked back to the car and pulled out V-Silverhand outside. She… he?... was still unconscious. Jackie carried THEM to the garage, making sure no one was around. He placed the body on the chair, trying to be as careful as possible, even though his instincts were screaming at him to punch the asshole. Still, he had to find out what exactly the situation was. If Silverhand was inside, how come he was sneaking around the city and not staying back in the facility with the Moxes and V?

He stared at the body for a moment, lost. Without any other ideas, he grabbed a roll of electric tape from the shelf and secured not-V’s hands and arms to the chair. Once he was satisfied, he grabbed a bottle of beer from his strategic reserve. Fuck, if this wasn’t a fitting situation to use it, he didn’t know what was. After taking a long gulp, he sighed, wiped his mouth with his hand and slapped not-V across the face.

Not-V opened her eyes with a shout, and looked around before she noticed him standing in front of her.

“What the fuck, man?! Let me go!”

“Not before you answer some questions, amigo. Who are you?”

“Like hell I’ll tell you anything!”, Not-V screamed, trashing on the chair, trying to release the strong hold of the restraints.

“You said you recognize me. Welles. Bill Welles.”

Not-V froze for a moment before fixing her eyes on his face, her own expression bearing a mix between anger and confusion.

“You sure do look like him.”

“Bill Welles was my father. Now talk. Who are you, how to you know Bill and why the fuck are you in V’s body?”, Jackie demanded. 

“V? So that’s her name, huh?,” said not-V. After a moment of silence, he decided he didn’t have much of an alternative. He’s been on the run for days now. And Welles was the most honest and trustworthy guy he’d ever met. Hopefully his kid turned out to be the same, “My name is Robert Linder. I know your father well, we’re serving… served together in the war. Central American. I have no idea who V is, why I’m in her body and what the fuck happeed. I woke up like this a couple of days ago. I’ve been on the run since.”

“Linder… I… OK. Wow.” Jackie sat down on his pressing bench, and took another sip from his beer. So, shit was even more complicated than he thought. Everyone in Night City knew about Robert John Linder, just as everyone knew about Johnny Silverhand. No wonder he didn’t contact anyone. The guy was stuck in the 2010’s. “And you have absolutely no idea what happened?”

“No,” Robert shook his head, “Last thing I remember is being shot at by the narcos. Then I woke up in some basement.”

Shit. Shiiiiit… Jackie was not equipped to deal with this shit. He had to call someone, maybe Judy could help. But, Linder looked exhausted and in pain, just as bad as Jackie felt. The thought wasn’t the most comforting, since the ex-soldier looked half-dead. Ironically enough. 

“OK, Robert Linder,” he said as he approached him to cut him loose from the chair, “I’m gonna risk it and trust you. We both need some rest. There’s a Bounce Back on the table, use it. I’m gonna go get some food and supplies, and will be right back, OK? Don’t go anywhere.”

Robert looked at Jackie. He nodded. 

Fifteen minutes later, two Bounce Back’s and half a box of loctus pizza later Jackie unlocked the doors to his small studio and ushered Robert inside with a tight smile.

***

Welles’ pad was small, but had everything Robert needed. A small bed, a bookcase, some weights to exercise… It would do for now, before he’d figure out what to do next. it all seemed so unreal. So, Bill was gone. Missing. Walked out on his family years ago. Robert struggled with the idea, he just saw Welles days ago, in that fuckin jungle. The choom wouldn’t stop gushing over his pregnant wife. And yet, the kid was here, thirty something and built like a brick shithouse. 

Jackie closed the doors behind him and approached Robert, who was sitting tensely on the couch. Jackie put a plastic bag on the coffee table in front of him, making the glass bottles of beer clink faintly for a second.

“Here, drink this. Think we both earned a cerveza or two.” 

Jackie walked around the table and sat down heavily, making sure to keep some distance between him and his guest. This was so fucked up. The guy looked just like V, the old V. And yet, he was nothing like her. And nothing like Silverhand, from what he knew about him from all the stories she’d share with him over the phone. Jackie felt guilty. He should’ve been here for her. And yet he was in Atlanta, stuck there for months without any option of helping V out. He still remembered the cold feeling that spread over his body when Padre called him back then. “V is hurt. She’s in some kind of limbo. They’re trying to bring her back, but the chances are slim. Change of plans, mi hijo. You’ll find George Nguyen, a cloning engineer for Kiroshi’s Atlanta branch. Bring him here. He’s V’s only change. May the lord be with you”. And so he did. He drove for days, speeding as much as possible. The moment he left the clone guy with a group of Moxes waiting for him by the Night City eastern highway was one of the most tense ones in his life. One of the girls walked up to him and introduced herself as Judy. She was V’s friend, and she promised she’ll make sure their girl was ok. Jackie swallowed heavily, nodded and without a word sped off back towards Atlanta, dedicated to closing the job he had there as soon as possible. He had to get back. If not to yell at her, then at least to say goodbye.

And now, she was sitting next to her. Not really, but still. “She” was sitting slumped, with elbows digging into her thighs, fingers clutching her hair. The body was V, but the mannerism… “This is so fucked up.”

Not-V raised her (his) eyes and stared at Jackie with a questioning look.

“Sorry, did I say that out loud?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry.”

“No, you… you’re right. This is fucked up. More than anything could ever possibly be. I’m in your friend's body and you’re the only person I know, and that’s only through your old man’s stories. From when you weren’t even born yet.”

Jackie looked at him for a moment before taking a large gulp of his beer, “He talked about me?”

“Yeah, you and your ma. Kept babbling over and over how this was his last deployment, how Guadalupe was almost ready to pop, kept showing us ultrasounds she’d send him. It was annoying as fuck, but it was probably one of the few things that kept us going. Gave us hope. That there was something else out there than blood and screams.”

Robert sighed and took a sip from his bottle, eyes unfocused and face blank. Jackie took that as a sign it was time to give the guy some space. He couldn’t imagine what it must feel like to be stranded in another time, without any familiar face around. 

“Listen, hombre. You should get some rest. The bed is yours, I’ll go check up on my output. Just… In case you’d want to know more… you can use my computer. The password is written on the sticky note next to the keyboard.”

“You’re always this careful with your security?” said Robert, a ghost of a sarcastic smile blooming on his - V’s - face.

“Fuck off… el cabron… Misty, my girlfriend, would use my pad when I was gone. I left the password for her in case of emergency. If you wanna, you can use it.” 

With that, Robert was left all alone. For a moment he sat there in silence, staring at the bottle in his hands, before finishing his beer with one long gulp and standing up. He walked up to the makeshift bathroom in the corner of the room. He rested his hands on the cold ceramic of the sink and looked up.

When the mirror activated with a familiar chirp, he found himself staring at his reflection, lost for words. It was the first time he could properly see himself - or V, to whom apparently this body belonged to before. Even though he’d see his reflection pop into view as he quickly moved between cars and by windows of abandoned buildings, he never felt safe enough to stand and stare. Now a pair of bright green eyes was looking right back at him, from underneath dirty, greasy curls, looking just as confused and vulnerable as he felt. There were scars on the face, from the corners of it’s dry lips to the middle of it’s cheeks. Two jagged, almost straight lines. He reached his hand to touch one of them. It felt weirdly intimate. His hand jerked away and moved back to the sides of the sink. Robert kept on looking, never tearing his eyes away from the reflection. So weird… He was pretty. Not in a conventional joytoy way. There was nothing delicate about this face. It was a face of someone who went through hell and back. And yet, somehow, through all the grime and scars, Robert noticed beauty. 

Embarrassment rose within him together with a vicious blush that bloomed over his cheekbones. He looked down at the sink, turned on the water and washed his face without waiting for the heater to kick off. He scrubbed on his cheeks, his forehead, his neck. Her’s. Her cheeks… Jesus! Fuck!

Robert grabbed a towel that was hanging off the hook next to the shower and rubbed his face clean. When he looked in the mirror, his skin was red and puffy, but it didn’t matter. He was about to remove his shirt before he froze as his hands grabbed the hem of the cloth. No. Not yet. He couldn’t shake the feeling he’d be violating V. Even though she apparently had a new body, this one being left behind. Right?

He sniffed, and turned back to the mirror. He stood there, observing as recleftion’s eyebrows lowered in a menacing expression, then shot up with a sudden smile he forced onto its face. Still weird.

“Probably should check some stuff out. Maybe there will be more info on me,” he muttered, finally tearing himself away from the sink. 

He walked over to the desk, sat heavily on the chair and turned the machine on. In a second, the main menu showed up. Robert gathered his nerves and clicked Network. After finding a browser, with a bit of effort on his part, he typed in his name.

To his surprise a long list of results appeared. Article over article, picture after picture. He clicked the first one on the list and started reading. It was so bizarre. He was a nobody, another factory drone before turning himself into a clog in the war machine. And yet - there he was. The picture pinned over the title was him. More scruffy, with a silver arm prosthesis, standing tall and proud, an electric guitar in one hand and a lit cigarette between his lips. So different. But it WAS him. Robert started reading the article, each sentence confusing him more than the next. A rockerboy? A terrorist? What in the fuck happened to him? Was war really that bad? What did he see? He was freshly deployed from what he remembered, not even three months in. He was still Robert Linder, 23, from Nebraska. He started learning how to play a guitar just three months before he was drafted…

Apparently he was also Johnny Silverhand, a domestic terrorist who tried to blow up the Arasaka Tower with a goddamned nuke and got killed by someone called Adam Smasher during the attempt. And he was a fuckin rockstar.

How was this even possible?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It’s been three months since V woke up and two months since she moved from the facility to the Aldecaldos camp. Her life was slowly getting back on track. She finally felt strong enough to start working on getting her cyberware back. The moment she saw the silver lines zig zag across her eyebrows and down her cheeks towards the back of her head, she finally could see herself in the brand new face. She felt naked without them. Incomplete. 

The cyberware didn’t help much, not the way she hoped it would. The surace was almost ready. The body was still still missing the tattoos, but that could be arranged later. Still, there was a feeling of emptiness lingering deep inside her, something she tried to drown in tequila and vodka, beer, whiskey. The only thing that helped anymore were the clan gigs, hunts and fistfights. At least when her hands worked properly.

The morning was hot. The Aldecaldos were buzzing around the camp unsettled, as if something was about to happen. It wasn’t unusual, per se. The whole clan acted this way before a big action, most of which were kept in secret from her. Saul didn’t want her to strain herself, Panam said. But V suspected she had more to do with it than just agreeing with her co-leader. Everyone felt antsy, and V could feel the mood rubbing off on her. 

She sat in her tent in front of a mirror. She managed to get her hands on her favourite shade of purple eye shadow during the last scavenging ride and tried her best to apply it just as she used to before. But her hands that day were especially shaky, to the point that holding a brush between her fingers was borderline impossible. After the third attempt, when the brush landed back on the makeshift table, V grunted and curled up in herself. She looked down at her hands. They shook more and more violently between her knees. Her vision went blurry with frustrated tears as she tried her best to order them to stop. Finally, the shaking subsided to a slight tremble and she sighed heavily. 

"I really need therapy…" V said to herself as she straightened her back and pushed herfelt deeper into her chair.

“Ya you do.” Panam’s voice reached her from the entrance, making V jump in her seat, “You’re going crazy.”

“PHYSICAL therapy. Jesus Christ, woman! You scared me!" 

"Me? Scared the mighty V? The most fearsome merc edgerunner, the living legend of the Night City? Pffft…" Panan swaggered inside the tent and sat down on V's bed, "And about that therapy - why not both? For fuck’s sake, V… everyone can see you're a mess."

"It's not that simple… to just let it all go." V stared at her through the mirror, her hands starting to shake again.

"I know it's not. I lost people, too. But you’re grieving a rockerboy engram that was killing you. A rockerboy, who died 30 years before you were even born!"

"Twenty seven."

"Whatever. The point is, you’ve gone through a lot of shit. You had a goddamned parasite eating away at your brain. You died - twice. You had to be transferred to another body…"

"My body." V stood up and walked to an old footlocker she used as a temporary wardrobe.

She started rummaging for a fresh t-shirt when she felt Panam's hand land on her shoulder. She allowed her to turn V around to face her and looked up at her friend's face. Panam's eyes were worried, lips set in a thin like. She looked older than ever.

"A COPY of your body. Not the same you’re used to. You gotta let him go, girl. You just got a new chance at life, thanks to us. Your actual friends. For fucks sake, we GREW you in a tube! A tube we nicked from Afterlife!"

V couldn't help but snort and smile "Rouge knows this?"

"Yes," Panam rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, "She came over to the facility the morning after. Almost shot my head off. Then she went to see you and then she left with Saul. "

V raised her eyebrow and returned to her shirt search, "With Saul? Didn't know they knew each other."

"Yeah. The old bitch was friends with our old leader, Santiago. Apparently did some business together back in the day. She still deals with Saul from time to time. Usually smuggling gigs and whatnot"

A silence fell between the women for a short moment, as V disappeared behind a curtain to change. Finally, she emerged in an oversized black cut-off tank top, releasing her hair from a low-tied ponytail. As she moved her fingers through her ginger curls, she looked at Panam with a crooked smile and huffed, "You grew me in a stripper tube?"

Panam snorted, "Figured you might as well enjoy it. 

"Ya know me so well."

Both women laughed for a moment until V sat back down on her chair and pointed at her bed, inviting Panam to sit down as well. They settled for a moment of silence, still smiling, until Panam stretched out her legs and sighed.

"Listen, V. We have to take some people and go check if the Bakkers are ok. Another clan, their camp is about twenty kilometers away. Saul's working on an alliance with them. They stopped answering our holos, and we’re a bit worried. You're gonna be ok staying here without us?"

"Uh… sure. I was actually thinking about going to NC. Ya know, to check out how things are back home." V said, picking at her fingernails and waiting for the lecture. She knew Panam wouldn’t be happy about it. 

Unsurprisingly, Panan placed her hands on her knees as if bracing herself for an unavoidable rejection, yet she cleared her throat and started, "V, just stay with us. We could use your help around the camp. Besides, you’re already part of the family."

"I'm having a deja vu." 

Panam smiled, "And you’re gonna say no, again, right?"

V stood up and sat next to the other woman on her bed. She looked at her sharp profile for a moment, trying to find the right words to say what she had to say. Trying to be as delicate as she could, even though she could feel annoyance starting to stir deep in her chest, like first signs of an approaching cough. Finally, when Panam turned to look back at V, she started talking.

"Pan, I love you. You’re my sister, you know it. But this… nomad life is not for me. I was raised on the streets. Merc work is all I know. Besides, I still have some things to do in the NC. I owe the Mox, I owe Rouge, fuck… Peralez texted me yesterday. He’s divorcing his output and wants me to organize a new security team for him."

"Never thought you’d be into politics."

V chuckled and bumped her shoulder into Panam's, "I need to take care of my family. And you’re a big girl. You’ll be fine without me."

"Well du-fuckin-uh."

One hour later V got on her motorcycle and sped off towards the Night City. The feeling of the wind blowing through her hair, the sting of the sun on the still sensitive skin around her new cyberware… she couldn't help but laugh at the feeling of freedom that filled her entire being. For the last weeks she felt constricted, held down. She knew her friends cared deeply for her, but she wasn't used to the borderline smothering presence of someone always observing her every step and movement. She was lucky if she could find a moment of privacy, both in the facility and in the camp. She had to go. She needed the silence of her apartment, the buzz of the streets, the music seeping into the air from the Jig Jig street.

The moment she drove between the first line of skyscrapers and smelled the stench of the streets, V’s good mood disappeared and she felt the sadness swallow her up. She remembered driving those routes - first with Jackie, then with Johnny. She remembered the bickering and the jokes, the dry and snide comments exchanged before and after gigs. How he’d smoke one cigarette after another, looking at her through his aviators like she’s the dumbest person that ever graced this world with their presence. And his rare smiles, even more rare outburst of gleeful laugh at something ridiculous only he’d find funny. 

V added gas and sped off towards Watson. What a goddamn mess…

***

It’s been weeks since Jackie found him and took him in. The situation gave Robert a bit of stability. He was slowly starting to enjoy the routine. Wake up, eat breakfast, check the news for any clues of approaching gigs, chat with Jackie over coffee, plan out their moves for the next job. Lunch, coffee, an hour of studying everything he missed... and there was so much he’d missed. 

He tried his best to find actual information about himself, but most of what he found online was based on gossip or straight out lies - according to Jackie. The man wanted to help him, bless his heart, and would often spend his free evenings in Afterlife, trying to pick up any information he could, or by pestering someone he called Ker. One time the guy actually showed up at the garage with a box full of demo recordings, notes, old video tapes. Robert barely managed to hide in the bathroom, as Jackie welcomed the man. They chatted for a while, and then he left. Robert didn’t manage to see this Ker guy, but once he got his hands on the box, he found plenty of pictures. On them, there was him, the new-old him, smiling. It was weird, no matter how many pictures of himself he found online, he never saw a single smile. And here it was. One with some guy with big hair - “That’s Kerry” said Jackie - and a couple of him with some woman - “Shit… Rouge was one smoking mamacita…”. His new-old self looked more like Robert. He could recognize himself in the otherwise severe face for the first time. He couldn’t help but smile too. Seemed that aside from all the pain and suffering, he managed to keep a bit of himself deep inside. He couldn’t ask for more.

Another surprise was that thanks to his new body’s neural memory, he found himself to be quite an adequate netrunner. He wasn’t sure how it was even possible, but cracking ICE and quickhacking databases felt as familiar to him as riding a bike to someone, who hasn’t rode one in ages. Robert decided to use those skills to pay off his debt to Jackie, which was still growing every day with the man’s neverending kindness. Of course, at first Jackie tried to refuse, but cracked soon enough when Robert fed him intel on his approaching mission some sleazy fixer sent his way. Easy and simple turned out to be difficult and loaded with guards like a cactus with spikes. Thanks to that, Jackie managed to gather a bigger team, steal whatever it was he had to steal, take out the fixer and keep the eddies for himself, not even batting an eye as he threw Robert a large was of cash as he entered the pad the next morning.

Robert decided to save most of every single cut for each job he helped Jackie with. He never knew when his luck would turn, and knowing himself it could happen any day now. He needed a safety net in case he’d have to run and hide again. In the meantime, he tried to concentrate on more positives than negatives. And one of the steps he took to keep himself in a more elevated mood was making small changes to his appearance.

No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t get used to his new body. Or at least, to the knowledge that an exact copy was alive and most likely somewhere in Night City. That it used to belong to a woman with whom he shared weeks is not months of his life, trying to find a way to save her life. A woman, who apparently was ready to sacrifice herself for him, god knows why. Jackie made sure to tell Robert as much about V as he could, summarising their holo conversations, sometimes allowing Robert to listen from his corner, when he’d put the conversation on loud speaker. Robert was getting more and more familiar with the idea of V, but he still couldn’t remember a thing. All the stories seemed like a made up fantasy tale. And it bothered him immensely.

Robert tried to cure his uneasiness by trying to make small changes to his appearance. He cut his hair short and changed the color to black. It still curled around his ears and over his eyebrow, but it was a start. He couldn’t afford dermal implants, nor would he even make such changes without V’s permission. He wished he was more selfish sometimes, he wished he could just go to the nearest ripperdoc and change his chest, change his face, change his… everything. Maybe then he’d finally be able to take off his clothes.

“Jesus Christo, you stink. Think it’s time you took a shower.” said Jackie as he placed a paper cup filled with black coffee on Robert’s desk.

“Cant.” 

“Can’t or won’t? You’re disgusting…” 

Robert turned in the chair to look at Jackie, his left hand still hanging over the keyboard, ready to finish the last line of code he was working on for hours. “I can’t. This… this body isn’t mine. It’s your friend’s. Can’t… it doesn’t feel right. touching it.” 

Jackie went silent for a moment, visibly considering Robert’s words, before he opened his mouth again, “Maybe… try doing it with your clothes on? I mean, this can’t be healthy…” 

Robert felt a pang of shame and concern. Of course, Jackie was right, but… “Ok. I’ll try.” 

“Good, good. Cos we’re almost out of air freshener,” Jackie grinned and patted Robert’s arm. He walked to the couch and sat down with a sigh, “Maybe it’s time you meet her? V? Talking to her could help you settle in. In her old bod, I mean. It’s not like she can use it anymore…”

“I… I still don’t remember. Won’t it be weird? She knows me well, and I've only seen her on pics you’ve shown me.” 

“Would be weird no matter what. I think you two should finally see each other. She’s really bummed out about you being gone.” 

“You mean silverhand” 

“You’re silverhand.” 

“No. No I'm not. Not yet. And maybe I'll never be. I'm Robert Linder. Johnny Silverhand doesn’t exist. At least not yet.”

Robert reached to grab the cup and took a small sip, trying not to burn his lips on the bitter liquid. He allowed himself to close his eyes and take a sniff, the aroma slightly calming his nerves. Both men sat in silence for a moment, before Jackie clapped his hands and jumped to his feet. 

“I’m gonna go pick up something to eat. Try taking that shower. We’ll talk later.” 

Once Jackie is gone, Robert forces himself to stand up from his chair, feeling his joints pop and strain from the prolonged lack of movement. He groaned loudly, trying to stretch out the pains, before directing his steps toward the bathroom. Once there, he took a deep breath and slowly moved his hand to grab the zipped of his hoodie. He never expected taking off his clothes would be so difficult. Slowly, he took off the hoodie and jeans, not daring to look down on himself, even though he was still in his borrowed underwear. He quickly made sure the oversized boxer briefs were still covering his lower body and pulled down on his t-shirt, before taking a deep breath and walking into the shower stall.

He turned on the water and allowed the warm stream to hit his face and shoulders, making his clothes stick to his skin. He stood there for a moment, moving only slightly to make sure his evtire form was properly soaked, before grabbing a bar of soap from the holder stuck to the wall. He tried to wash himself as well as he could, soaping up his arms and pits, his face and neck. He quickly rubbed the bar over his clothed chest and stomach, grinding his teeth when it was time to clean his lower parts. He felt so guilty and disgusted with himself. He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn't be touching Her. 

Then suddenly, a memory hit him like a ton of bricks, sending him down on his knees. He saw himself, or rather his new body, slumped unconscious, naked, over a dirty tiled floor of some bathroom. He was sitting at the other side of the room, feeling the anger that filled him change into annoyance, as the body stirred and moaned in pain. He trained his voice into a cold tone. 

“Just like me, isn’t it? Get stuck inside the brain of the Night City’s dumbest merc…” 

V, naked and shivering, raised her head and looked up at him with confused expression and empty eyes, and he hated that he couldn't stand up, pull her up to her feet, take over and kill every single motherfucker behind those closed doors next to him. For doing this to her. To them. For violating V. For leaving her in a dirty bathroom like a slab of meat, waiting for it’s turn to be ground up and thrown to the dogs. She didn’t deserve this, goddamnit!

For a moment everything went black and the perspective has changed. Now Robert saw everything through her eyes. Her every movement, her stealthy sneaking as she approached one of the scavs and with a quick move snapped his neck. how the hacking menu appeared and she sent a system reset command to fry up another guy’s brain. How she grabbed a machine guy out of his hands and started shooting at a group of people lounging in an adjacent room. Heard and felt her bare feet slap against the blood covered floor. She ripped open a locker, pulled on her clothes, packed her gear and continued on her angry rampage, killing everyone who stood on her way. 

And he rejoiced as each body hit the floor - that she was on top of her game despite still being high and hurt, that she was punishing those who deserved it, that they'd survive. Just as she reached the elevator everything went black for a moment and Robert found himself on his hands and knees, water hitting his back with a strong hot stream. 

He vomited violently, before his entire body seized with horrible pain and he fell into the mix of water and bile beneath him. He screamed, his nerves were on fire and his muscles spasming and contorting, as if trying to detach themself from his bones. Just as fast as it all started, the pain subsided, leaving him gasping for air and shaking uncontrollably. 

Suddenly, Jackie bursted through the door, letting the handle bang violently against the tiles, looking wild and terrified. When he saw Robert on the ground, he rushed over and turned the water off, gently turning Robert onto his back. 

"You ok, choom? The fuck happened? Just got back and heard you scream!" 

Robert laid for a moment, trying to catch his breath as he stared up at the ceiling. Finally, when he was sure he could speak, he started to whisper, not daring to speak any louder. 

"I-i saw… I remembered. Her. And Silverhand. They were in some bathroom and she was naked and… Someone kidnapped her and I saw her kill them."

"Fuck…” Jacke sat heavily on the ground next to the shower stall and pressed his back to the wall, “Yeah, she told me bout that one. Some scavs scammed her and wanted to kill her for her cyberware." 

"I felt how Silverhand… how I felt back then. I was so full of anger and hate it felt unbearable. I wanted to kill them. More than I ever wished for anything else. What the fuck happened to me, Jackie?" 

"Well. If you're starting to remember then maybe you'll find out soon enough. But fuck, man... I thought you were dying. You were having some kind of attack. You ok?" 

Robert cleared out his throat and forced himself to sit up. This time, he spoke a bit louder, feeling his voice break and throat hurt, "Yeah. Dunno… dunno what happened.” 

“I think it’s time you go and see a ripper doc. I heard V had the same seizures when… when you were still in her head. Vic saw it, tried to treat her. He should know what’s happening. Maybe it’s the chip? Still fucked up?” 

Robert moved his eyes to look at Jackie, “Is Vic the one with the basement? The one I woke up in?”

“Yeah”

“So she will find out too.” 

“Think it’s only fair, don’t you?” 

“You’re right. Let me rest for a moment, then we can go.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, damn. I never expected this story would hit over 2k reads. I am absolutely blown away by the positive comments and Kudos, Thank you all so much :)
> 
> I was trying to plan out the rest of the story, but it seems it will get longer than I anticipated. We'll see, though...
> 
> Again, thank you for your Kudos and comments, and I hope you will enjoy reading this one as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Chapter 5

The Afterlife was always empty before four pm. The music seeping through the speakers played much quieter than in the evenings. There was no need for louder tunes, there was no one to discuss delicate matters within booths and over drinks by the bar. The only people around were Clair, moving around the storage, counting bottles and kegs and Nix, busy doing whatever the hell he was currently doing. The club wouldn’t fill up with people until seven, that gave Rogue enough time to enjoy the peace that was so hard for her to achieve as of late. 

She could barely sleep ever since the Arasaka attack. She kept replaying in her mind the last call Johnny made to her, courtesy of V giving him the control over their body once again. He sounded scared. Through all the years she knew him, scared was the last emotion she’d imagine seeing him showcase, or even experience. Annoyed, horny, angry - sure. The man was as emotionally monochromatic as a can of gray paint. Scared, though… Scared made him sound human. The idea itself was unsettling for Rogue , waking up memories she tried her best to bury deep inside her. 

She started remembering those rare moments he’d smile at her. The gentle care he put into his touches each time he’d decide that holding her hand was a good idea, no matter how unfitting the situation might have been. That unfamiliar spark in his dark eyes as he’d look at her when they'd wake up in the mornings, back when they were still dating. Before he cheated. Before Alt. But she knew he wasn't scared for her, or for himself for that matter. The whole Arasaka attack was not just another act of violence against the corp to stroke his ego. He did it for Her. And for Her he talked Rogue into helping out. And Rogue , yet again, agreed.

Rogue filled her glass with another serving of whiskey and downed it in one go. It didn’t matter anymore, anyways. Johnny was gone, she was almost fuckin’ ninety and even if he was around, and it seemed both of them changed too much. Their date at the drive-in theatre was one brutal of a wake up call. She finally realised all the reasons this would never work., no matter what. And the main one was staring down at her, back at the hood of that car they laid down on to make out like a pair of horny teenagers, back at the theatre, with Johnny's eyes. 

Said reason was currently making her way through the door of the club. The same confident sway of her hips and the same cheerful smile on her face she wore that first time they spoke. V spotted Rogue behind the bar and raised her hand in a short wave. She looked smaller, her hair was shorter. But she still wore that jacket Rogue got her, and the same goddamned pair of army boots that were probably older than Rogue herself. V jumped on the barstool in front of the fixer and slapped her hands against the bar top. 

“There you are! I was hoping we’d see eachother soon! I need a job.”

Rogue lowered her eyebrows, her lips stretched into a thin line. The fuck… “V. You come here, to my club, prancing like a debutante, demanding my help, after you stole from me and didn’t even care enough to call? I had to find you woke up from a goddamned cop.”

“I didn’t steal from you. I think it was more of a loan” V reached behind a bar to grab a bottle of beer, And it’s not like I had any say in this whole mess.“If anything, blame the Mox. We can give it back now, but I see you’ve already replaced the tube.”

Rogue stared at V for a moment, dumbfounded. She observed as V opened the bottle over the edge of the bar and downed half of the bottle in one take, before setting it back down with a deep, satisfied sigh. 

“Are you ok? You’re acting strange.” Roude said, leaning closer towards the merc.

“Strange? Pfft… I died. And raised. And then died again, got cloned and then brought back into this world. Suppose shit like that could fuck up and change anyone. My apologies for offending you’re delicate sensibility m’lady.”

‘‘Get out.”

“Wha…” V looked at her surprised.

Rogue pushed herself away from the bar and started walking towards the exit, “I said get out. Whatever you’re playing V it’s not funny.” 

“I have literally no idea what you’re talking about, Rogue .”

“This. You’re not acting like yourself. And I really do not appreciate you making a mockery of the whole…”

Rogue stopped at her tracks as a soft hand grabbed her shoulder and forced her to turn around. V was looking at her with a crooked smirk, her other hand placed firmly against the older woman’s back. Rogue stared at V with wide eyes, which went even wider when she felt a warm breath against her neck.

“Actually, I thought that a bit of humor would make this a bit less... awkward. Didn’t want to make you angry” V whispered, her lips brushing against Rogue ’s ear.

“And you thought I wouldn’t get angry because…?”, Rogue pulled her arm free and took a step back, then jumped over the bar to put more distance between them. Something was up and she didn’t like it.

V chuckled and perched back on her seat “Because I’m a horrible prick and you love me?”

There. A bizarre duality in V’s voice Rogue heard maybe twice in the last months. It wasn’t as strong as before, but noticeable enough to freeze the fixer in place with it’s impact and knock a gasp out of her. 

“V?”

“Yes, Rogue ?” the merc purred. This time the voice...

Rogue grabbed V’s face between her hands and pulled her halfway over the bar. She looked deep into her eyes, trying to find something, anything. This couldn’t be. “Johnny?”

V’s eyes went wide and she pushed Rogue away. She jumped out of her seat and stumbled backwards, finally stopping when her back hit one of the tables behind her. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. 

“Rogue , what the fuck?!”

Rogue on the other hand stood frozen, pressing her hand to her lips, trying to keep inside a sob that was trying to escape her. She couldn’t believe it. For a moment she saw him, she heard him. The same bizarre mix of V’s and Johnny’s voices, the same glint in her green eyes that for a moment turned dark brown. Rogue stared at V who looked absolutely mortified, the same expression bloomind over her face.

"Rogue ? You ok?" Clair walked out of the storage room, a hand on the stock of her gun sticking out of the holster on her hip, before she noticed the other woman and relaxed slightly, still finding the view before her being very suspicious, "Hi V... What's going on guys?" 

Rogue ignored her and moved her hand away from her lips.

“Nix?” she called weakly, “Nix! Jesus… Come here!”

After a moment of tense silence between the women, Nix appeared from behind the corner, his glasses in his hand. The moment he noticed the atmosphere, he stopped on his tracks and looked from V to Rogue and back. 

“Whaaat is going on, chooms. Someone died?”

“Skan her,” Rogue demanded, her eyes never leaving V’s face.

“What? Why?”

“Do it.” 

V stood still, watching Nix approach her. He was moving towards her with his hands slightly raised, trying his best not to provoke her, trying to anticipate and guard himself from any attack from her. Whatever happened here, Nix was not taking any chances. Both Rogue and V looked wild.

“May I?” asked Nix as he extended the cord from his palm, hoping that V would cooperate.

V looked back to Rogue , starting to understand what was going on. She didn't notice anything different in herself, but she did notice weird stares Panam and Judy would shoot her way from time to time, looking at her as if she was acting crazy. Her jokes would sometimes be met with an uncomfortable silence, something that never happened before. Her elevated urge to shoot any scaver she met on her way. The excitement she felt each time she reached for her gun - much stronger than it ever was. Everything felt… more. She thought it was just a side effect of the transfer. Being implanted into a brand new body, that never tasted alcohol or breathed the polluted air of the Night City. Everything just felt more intense. Aside from her new found energy, her weird moments happened rarely enough for V to never pay much attention to it, throwing an awkward apology, and continuing on her merry way, the others would never really bring it up. 

V saw the desperation in Rogue 's eyes, a light of hope she'd never seen on the older woman's face. And V could feel it too. Maybe… 

"Do it, Nix," she said. 

A moment later she felt Nix's hand move her hair away from her port and then her vision exploded with countless scan windows, one jumping in front of another. The rapidly moving lines of code made her feel dizzy. Before she had a chance to grab something for support, she felt someone move their arm around her shoulders and gently sit her down. The scan seemed to take ages. She could feel the bile rise to her throat, but before the nausea overwhelmed her, it all stopped. 

With a click, Nix unplugged her and stepped away from her. Rogue was standing right next to V now. Her hand was firm but gentle weight on her shoulder, whether to support V or seek support - V wasn't sure. 

"And?" Rogue asked, her voice tense.

"Well. Comparing the scan to the results from the last time I checked her, the only change I've noticed is that there’s a bit of an issue with the left ocular implant. Someone did a shoddy job. Is this what this is about? She’s seeing things, or..."

Rogue squeezed her eyes shut, trying to collect her thoughts. Maybe she was just imagining things… maybe…

"Check again," she heard V say, "Check it. Compare it with my backup system copy. I had it stored on my private server last year, just in case."

"Going oldschool?” Nix grinned, “Kudos. Private sensory and factory neural ICEs are faulty. Always best to crossexamine the…" Nix's speech withered when he noticed the look both women were giving him. Without another word he accepted the file transfer and plugged back into V's port. This time, they both prepared, sitting down on the opposite sites of a table V almost crushed into minutes earlier. 

Nix compared and observed every single line of code, jumping between windows as fast as his Biotech MK. 2 could process them. The red numbers and letters almost overtook his vision before he noticed a single speck of yellow. He stopped the process and focused on it. An overwrite. The fuck…? Nix copied the code and moved further, soon the differences were showing up more and more often, until they almost completely overtook the red on the right side of his vision. Then it stopped, the rest of the memory file being just as red as the original. Nix had enough. He reached his hand to unplug, but V batted her hand away and did it herself. 

Both netrunners sat in silence, looking at each other. Trying to collect their thoughts. Finally, Nix sniffed, stood up and left, ignoring Rogue 's confused calls. 

"What is going on?" Rogue demanded, leaning her hands on the table top and leaning closer towards V, who sat motionlessly, staring at nothing in particular.

Rogue and Claire exchanged looks, and Claire went behind the bar to return with two glasses and a bottle of tequila, pouring a shot for both women and leaving the bottle behind. She lingered for a moment, worriedly looking at V's blank expression, then disappeared back in the storage room, closing the doors behind her, to give them some privacy. 

"V?" 

V ignored the older woman and reached for the glass to down her shot. She took another one and another, finally grabbing the bottle and taking a long swig. Rogue observed her, her nerves slowly getting better of her. She snatched the bottle from V's hand as soon as she stopped drinking to take a breath, and put it back on the table with a loud bang. 

"Talk to me. Now."

"There… Whatever happened before I returned to my body… 

"You mean you don't remember?" Rogue demanded.

"I don't. The last thing I do remember is shooting Yorinobu Arasaka between his eyes. Then - blank. As if someone scrubbed my mind clean. I woke up in the facility confused as fuck. Alone."

Rogue bit her lip and downed her glass of tequila, "You sounded just like him."

V looked as Rogue , recognizing the expression on her face. She saw it in a mirror every day. That haunted shadow in her eyes. She tried her best to mask it, hide it, not to worry others. From what Panam told her, she wasn't doing as good of a job as she thought. 

"According to the scan, Johnny's coded memories merged with mine. He's gone. But, now… Well. Seems the changes in my code left traces of him in me. That's why I might glitch and act like him sometimes. Makes sense."

"Does it?" Rogue stood up and walked back to the bar, filling a new glass with ice and water, "For me it seems completely nonsensical. Then again, I'm not a netrunner. So, I'll believe your and Nix's opinion on that matter. Anyways…"

Rogue 's phone started ringing, interrupting her. V raised her eyebrow at Rogue 's raised finger, asking for a moment, and stayed silent as the woman picked up. Her voice back to it's bored silky tone.

"What is it? This is really not the best time…" a moment of silence and Rogue 's expression changed from stony to worried, "What do you mean? What happened?"

Rogue noticed V looking at her, and walked away towards her office, leaving her guest sitting alone by the table, confused and worried. V sat there, waiting, trying her best to keep her hands from shaking by pressing them against her knees. She itched to reach for the bottle again, but held herself back. She could already feel the alcohol she had made her feel a bit lightheaded, and in case Rogue needed her help she had to stay relatively sober. She wished she had a cigarette. The idea itself made her choke up. She wasn't a smoker. The residue...

Just as V managed to calm down and push aside the sorrow, Rogue returned. She looked as if nothing had happened. It was impressive.

"As delightful as this little chat was, you need to leave now. I have something to deal with. I'll call you if I'll have a gig for you."

V was confused, but knew better than to ask any questions. She nodded and stood up, turning to walk towards the exit. 

"V?" Rogue called after her. 

V turned, the older woman stood by the bar, pale and tired-looking. When their eyes met, Rogue gave her a weak smile, "Thanks for the visit. I'm glad you're ok. We'll talk again soon, yeah? Maybe go talk to a ripper doc."

V nodded and smiled back shakely before walking out. There was not a single soul outside. It was raining. Because of course it was. V stood still for a moment, letting the rain land on her face. She had to talk to someone. She pulled out her phone and tapped on Judy’s name on her contact list. 

"V? What's up?" she sounded tired.

"Hey, J. You up for that party you promised me?"

***

Jackie walked towards Misty’s shop with a wide smile. No matter how shitty a day was, seeing his girl always made him feel as if everything in this world was going right. And this day was one of the shittiest in a while. Initially he didn’t expect that taking Robert in would lead to so much drama. To be honest, Jackie didn’t think much about the whole situation. He just wanted to help a choom out. To help him get back on his feet, maybe get his memories back. Robert was a mess, and he asked Jackie not to tell anyone for now. 

So, Jackie didn’t. What did he do instead? He lied to V. Even though he really wanted to tell her. She was so worried all the time. At first he didn’t get it, but the more time he’d spend with the guy, he began to understand why she liked Johnny so much. Even if Johnny wasn’t exactly Johnny anymore. He could only suspect that Johnny was more of a Robert that it seemed. He also lied to Vic - the guy would bring up the missing body from time to time during their training. It was eating him up. Kept babbling about scavers and parts… Jackie tried his best to zone out and concentrate on his left hook, but for god’s sake… He couldn’t tell him the body is fine and living in his garage. Vic would… well... WILL kill him. Probably. Especially now that Jackie is about to bring the body - walking and talking - back to him. 

Since Jackie still had a couple of minutes before that’d happen, he pushed down the anxiety and walked inside the shop. The scent of incense hung heavy in the air, wind bells chimed quietly as he walked through the door. He stopped for a moment, looking around the room, until he spotted her standing by her shrine, her back turned away from the doors. Jackie looked over his shoulder at Robert, who was walking closely behind him. Jackie pressed his thick finger to his lips, asking Robert not to make a sound, before he creeped deeper inside the shop towards Misty. The moment he was right behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up, planting a loud wet kiss behind her ear. She shrieked with laughter, slapping his forearms with her palms and turned around in his embrace once her feet hit the ground. 

“Jackie! You scared me!” she laughed, throwing her arms around his neck. 

“Ay, chiquita… I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I have my third eye fixed on you at all times, remember?” 

“Sure you do,” Misty kissed Jackie’s smile, before she noticed Robert standing awkwardly in the doorway, “Who’s your friend?” 

“Eh. Umm… mi amor, this… This is Robert.” 

Robert stood still, observing the couple with a carefully neutral expression. He was wearing one of Jackie's hoodies to obscure his body and face as much as possible, but he knew she noticed whose face was looking at her through a pair of aviators. Misty smiled in the most gentle way he ever saw anyone smile, which made him feel a little bit more at ease. He moved his weight from one foot to another, before giving her a short nod and walked over with an outstretched hand.

“Nice to meet you. Jackie talks about you a lot”. 

Misty shook his hand, her eyes studying his face for a moment before saying, “You’re not him, aren’t you?” 

“ I… Um.” 

Jackie, bless his heart, decided it's a grand time to say something, “Yeah… We have a bit of a problem. Robert’s not… HIM, but IS him. So. We’re here to see Vic, maybe he’ll know what’s going on.” 

Misty nodded, patting Robert’s hand, as if that was the most detailed answer anyone has ever given her, “Tarot is rarely wrong... Vic’s downstairs. He should be alone now.” 

When Jackie and Robert left through the back door, Robert asked “Tarot? What did she mean?” 

“Misty likes to read cards for people. did a reading for V after the Arasaka heist, where you… well. You know. Or not. Apparently it didn’t make much sense then. Misty must’ve seen something like this happen” 

“So, she’s like a witch or something?” 

“A bruja?! Hah! No… But she does have a talent. Come on”. 

Robert instantly recognized the basement. He felt a shiver run down his spine but forced the first signs of panic down and tried to stay calm. He was a soldier, for God’s sake. Vic sat by his worktable, tinkering with some cables sticking out of a chrome foot, when he noticed the men enter his shop. 

“Jackie boy! Haven’t seen you in…” when he noticed robert he stood up from his chair and grabbed the wrench off the tabletop, “You!” 

“Vic, relax. This is robert. I found him in the city when I was driving back from Atlanta. We have a bit of a problem” 

“A problem? Yeah you have a fuckin problem! How is he in V’s body?” then, realisation seemed to hit him as Vic’s angry face transformed into a blank mask. He slumped back into his chair, his eyes never leaving Robert’s - V’s - face. 

Robert took it as his cue. He pulled down the hood and took off his beanie, before running his fingers through his short black hair and removed the aviators from his face. 

“I know this is weird. It’s weird for me too. Apparently the last time you saw… the body… I was killing your friend. But I woke up here and I had no idea what happened. I don't remember anything before 2015.”

Vic scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, “So, you don’t remember anyone…” 

“No.” 

Vic sighed and rubbed his forehead with his flesh hand, pushing his glasses down to the tip of his nose. “Fuck, man… Maybe the chip was more damaged than we thought. This is weird. You were dead for days. We were ready to bury you.”

“There’s more, Vic.” Jackie interrupted, “I found him today in the shower. He had the same seizure V used to have.” 

Vic hummed and stood up, “Sit on that chair, I’m gonna run some diagnostics”. 

Robert nodded and walked over to the chair. He took a seat and waited until Vic plugged into the port behind his ear and a number of windows and numbers popped up over his vision. He didn’t understand anything, except for the word “error” that started repeating itself over and over once the diagnostic process hit his ram capacity. 

“Strange…” said Vic before forcing a deeper diagnostic, concentrating on the faulty memory code. 

As soon as he hit the 12th line of code, Robert screamed and his body seized violently, “Fuck! Jackie- hold him down!” yelled Vic, grabbing Robert’s wrists and pressed them down to the chair. 

“Plug out! You’re gonna fry him up!”, yelled Jackie, trying his best to keep Robert still. 

“No! If I plug out in the middle of diagnostic, his system will crash and he’ll go into shock! We could lose him! He has to ride it off” 

By this point Robert’s thrashing and yelling was getting stronger, the whizzing of machinery in his head going louder and louder. Jackie kept looking between two men, trying his best to stay calm, until finally Robert passed out and Vic gave out a heavy sigh. He let go of his patient's wrists and carefully unplugged the cable from his head., before walking back to his chair and pulling out a cigarette from a pack safely hidden in the breast pocket of his shirt.

“Vic, what the fuck happened? Is he ok?” Jackie asked, reluctantly releasing Robert’s wrists.

“He’ll be fine. The chip itself is ok. No damage, outside of the original one. Works fine, no functions are limited.” 

“So what was that? Why doesn’t he remember anything? And what about those spazes?” 

“Someone have installed some kind of failsafe. Blocked off half of available memory load. Whoever did it, they really didn’t want him to remember his Silverhand days.” 

“Fuck… So what do we do?” 

“Well, there are two solutions. Either we let him be and allow him to live his life however he wants, or we try to break the failsafe, restore his memories and let him go back to his old self. But that’s completely up to him. What is not up to him is this goddamned game of hide and seek. V has to know he’s alive. has to know what happened to her old body. It’s only fair. I presume you haven’t told her?”

“Mierda… she’ll be so pissed.” Jackie sighed and sank down onto a nearby chair.

“As she should. I am pissed. We were going crazy, trying to find the body. Fuck, Jackie, we thought Arasaka took it. And it was just prancing around town with an amnesiac terrorist inside, having a jolly good time doing whatever before playing house with you? If the circumstances were different I’d punch you myself.”

Robert groaned, slowly walking up, breaking the conversation between the men. He slowly sat up and looked at Vic, “What happened?” 

“You seized. Passed out. We need help from someone more experienced in hacks if you want to get your memories back. And we gotta call V.”

Robert nodded. He knew this was the next thing that would happen, it was unavoidable. Sooner or later he’d have to meet her. 

“Ok. I wanna meet her. We need to find a way to fix this bullshit.” 

“You sure you want to remember everything, man? I mean, from what I know, Silverhand went through some heavy shit.” 

“I do. I have to. I owe it to people. To her. I can’t keep hiding forever.” 

Jackie nodded, “I’m gonna call V. I’ll be right back”. 

Once Jackie left the basement, a heavy silence hung between Vic and Robert. Vic stood still, observing Robert's defeated face, his clumped shoulders and how he kept wringing his hands together. He was an image of misery impersonated. Nothing like he imagined meeting Johnny goddamned Silverhand would be like. He expected something more like an obnoxious swagger and venomous sarkasm. This guy? He was almost pitiful. 

Vic clicked his tongue and walked over to his medicine cabinet. He rummaged through it, moving bottles and containers around, before returning to robert with two pill bottles in his hand. 

“Here. Take one of each. One will help with depression, the other should help a bit with the seizures. It’s usually given to epileptic patients, so it won’t help much since your issues stem from the programming. But they should mellow your nervous system a bit. Make the seizures a bit less violent.” 

“I’m not depressed.”

”And i’m a goddamned ballerina,” Vic scoffed, “There’s no shame in it. fuck, I don’t know what I’d do if I was in your shoes. Just take both once a day. One pill from each bottle.” 

“Thank you”

“Don’t mention it. I’ll get you some coffee.”


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 7

“Ok, she ain’t pickin’ up. Tried calling her like four times. I think that - JESUS CHRISTO!”

Jackie covered his eyes with his forearm stumbling back in surprise. Vik was sitting in front of half-naked Robert, some kind of device in his hand, keeping it steady at the level of the body's exposed breasts. Robert cursed loudly, took a step away from Vik and turned his back towards Jackie. 

“What are you doing?!” Jackie howled, one of his hands looking blindly for something to grab. He steadied himself against the wall and opened his eyes to look straight at the ripperdoc.

“Preparing for a medical procedure,” Vik answered matter-of-factly, “Get a grip, Jackie, you’re acting like you’ve never seen a pair of tits.”

“NOT V’S! And how do you know she’ll be fine with this?!”

Robert threw his head back and groaned, before reaching for his discarded hoodie. He pulled it over his head, made sure it was pulled all the way down his body and turned around to face Jackie with a cold expression, “I talked with Vic. He agreed to a loan. There’s no way V could ever use this body again. And I can’t keep on going looking like this.”

“She should now. You should wait and ask her…”

“Fuck this!”

Vik and Jackie looked at Robert surprised. This was the first time either of them have seen the man show any type of emotion other than cautious neutrality. It reminded Jackie that Robert was in fact a soldier, a future deserter and rockerboy. He was so used to his meek behaviour in the past weeks, he forgot who he was dealing with. 

Robert marched over to Jackie with cold eyes and pushed him against the wall, “You have no idea how this is like! I’m a fuckin man! I’ve waited, tried my best to remember, to get ready to talk with her, give her some privacy, but enough is enough! I am alive! I’m here and I intend to stay! At this point i couldn’t give a single fuck what she’ll think or say! She doesn’t even care enough to pick up a call! To my knowledge, she owes me. And I intend to use it and fix this fuckin’ situation. So shut the fuck up.”

Jackie huffed through his nose and looked down at Robert with a cold stare, “Fuckin’ fine. Do what you want. But I won’t stand here and pretend everything is ok.”

Jackie shoved Robert away and stormed out of the basement, ignoring Vic’s calls. He was fuming. He couldn’t believe Vik agreed to this bullshit. This wasn't fair. It wasn't right. Whatever happens, the body is still V. His friend. A girl he knew for half of his life. She was in that body when they did their first gigs, when they stole a bottle of vodka from his mama's bar and got drunk for the first time. When they played behind Coyote Cojo and she fell off a fence, cutting her arm. The scar was still there, Jackie would stare at it whenever Robert pulled his sleeves up during their chats. It was her body. Not Roberts, nos Johnny's. Her. 

Jackie climbed the stairs taking two steps at a time, running towards Misty's shop. But before he pulled the doors open he stopped himself and hanged his head down. No. He didn't want his output to see him like this. 

Jackie turned around, deciding to hit the bar for a couple of beers. He needed to calm down. He left the alley and joined the crowds outside, and started walking towards the Riot. 

What a horrible fuckin' day...

***

By midnight Judy’s apartment was a complete mess. Both women were lying on their backs in a makeshift pillow nest they've set up in the middle of the room, sharing a bottle of tequila, enjoying the companionable silence between them. Empty pizza boxes and beer bottles were scattered around the living room floor, the glass shining in the gently blinking neon lights of a constellation lamp Judy found in her storage room earlier that day. The walls and the ceiling were shimmering with dots and lines, the zodiac signs moving in a pre-programmed loop - some waving at the women, some prancing around in circles before settling down for a nap. V haven't felt this relaxed in ages. 

The merc tried her best to keep it together after her meeting with Rogue. She didn't want to think about it now, especially since the glitch didn't seem to happen much around Judy for some reason. The additional sarcasm could be easily explained as a result of the shity couple of months V went through. And she was fine with it. For now.

V grabbed the bottle that Judy was currently tapping her stomach with and raised her head off the pillow to take a generous sip more easily. It wasn't her favourite brand, but it would have to suffice. It was pink, a present Judy got from some Mox chicks when the facility was done and ready, and it tasted like old bubblegum someone left int a glass of spirit for a couple of days. V wasn't sure if it actually could be called a tequila, but whatever. Judy seemed to like it. 

"Hey, V?"

"Yyyyyep?"

"The Aquarius is pissing into his jar."

V cackled and looked to the left corner of the ceiling. The Aquarius indeed stood with his back turned towards them, his action very obvious to both women, "Jesus… who the fuck programmed this thing?! Isn't this like a lamp for kids?"

"Hahaha! I have no idea! I don't even remember buying this thing. It was just standing in my storage. Maybe one of the neighbours mixed up numbers and left it at mine's instead of theirs…"

"Keep it. I demand you keep it! It's so awesome."

"Will do," said Judy, accepting the bottle back into her hands and hugging it to her chest, the liquid threatening to spill over her. She closed her eyes and sighed with a relaxed smile. 

V stared at her for a moment, wondering what put her friend in such a great mood. Before she had a chance to ask, the front door opened suddenly and Panam walked into the room, dirty and tired. V sat up with a wide grin, ready to snidely comment on her appearance and invite her into the nest of chill with them, but the grim expression on the nomad's face sobered her up instantly. The pang worry woke up in her chest again.

"Panam! What are you doing here? You ok?" V asked. 

Panam nodded, kicked off her boots and made a bee-line towards the fridge. She pulled out a bottle of beer. She drank the entire bottle in one long take, finally placing it on the counter with a long sigh. She pulled off her jacket in silence and threw it on a nearby chair, revealing more smudges of dirt on her arms and shoulders. Once a new bottle found its way into Panam's hand, the woman walked over to her friends and sat between them, groaning when her stiff and tired muscles protested such mistreatment. Once settled, she patted Judy's tight and leaned over V, placing her head on the ginger's shoulder.

"What a fuckin horrible day…" she said, opening the second bottle with a knife she fished out of her jacket pocket. She took a sip and huffed, "The Bakkers got attacked. The entire fuckin clan is gone. We found the leader beheaded. His kid is missing."

Judy sat up quickly and stared at Panam with wide eyes, "Jesus… are you serious?"

"Yeah. Everyone's dead. We searched around, the only one missing was Val Bakker. She should be there, the clan closed her workshop for a week for some celebration. Probably got more newbs. There were so many kids there…"

"Any ideas who could've done it?," V pressed her cheek to Panam's hair, trying to comfort her friend, "Militech?"

Panam sniffed and sat up straight, rubbing her face with her free hand, the other clutching the bottle. She looked from Judy to V, trying to collect her thoughts, then said quietly, "We have good reasons to suspect Arasaka."

V could feel her hands start to shake, and she pushed them underneath her knees, pressing them to the ground. The spike of anxiety left her cold and numb. She cleared her throat and turned her head to look at Panam, who looked ready to pass out.

"Arasaka is done, though. We crushed them."

"Yeah, well… Apparently some slipped through the cracks. We found two bodies in Arasaka gear. At first we thought it was some kind of diversion attempt, but we scanned them. Both were registered as Arasaka employees."

"But why would they hit a small clan like the Bakkers? Didn't they go straight months ago?" said Judy, moving closer to Panam, eyes full of confusion, "I mean, if they wanted to go crazy, wouldn't they hit us first?"

"I have no idea. All I know is a lot of people died. And Rogue was there."

"Rogue?" V asked, a bit louder than she intended.

"Yep. She looked crazy. Brought that bouncer of hers, Emmerick. They were both running around, searching every tent and trailer. She was the one who told us Val was gone."

"Why would Rogue be there, though? Does she have any connections to the Bakkers?" Judy asked. 

"Actually," V said, "I saw her today. I went to her to ask if she had any gigs for me. Shit happened, then she got a call and kicked me out of the Afterlife."

Panam and Judy looked at her, one annoyed, the other surprised.

"A gig? From Rogue? Fuckin' really?"

"What do you mean 'shit happened'?"

"One - yes really. I told you I need to get back on my feet. And I miss work. Two - doesn't matter, we'll talk about it later."

"Fuck, V!" Panam yelled, punching the merk's arm, "I told you to keep it easy! You can barely hold a gun!"

"No problem holding a bottle, though," Judy snickered, trying to uplift the mood. 

V snorted and reached for the tequila. She looked down at the sticker, on which a big boosted blonde was frozen in the middle of sending the camera a kiss. V slid her finger over a crooked edge, smoothing it down. She then took one last sip, before walking over to the sink and puring the rest of the liquor down the drain, much to Judy's objections. 

"Fuck, V! What the hell?! I'd finish that!"

"Nope. No more booze, no more drugs. Something is up, and we can't be out of it when shit hits the fan. Time to get ready for action, ladies. If Arasaka's fucking with smaller clan that apparently has some kind of connectiin to Rogue, it means one thing - it's personal. They may start kitting each of us where it hurts the most. Next they may be after the Aldecaldos, to get to Moxes, to get to us. I wouldn't be surprised if they're working on fucking us all up, so we gotta be in top shape."

"V, you're crazy. It was probably just a couple of assholes out for a bit of revenge…" Judy huffed, laying back on the pillows.

Panam looked at her over her shoulder with a raised eyebrow, which jumped even higher when she felt Judy's foot slide up and down her back, "What happened to paranoiac Judy?"

"She's too drunk to answer the phooooone."

V smiled and walked back over to the nest, to stand over her friends, "Guess we can wait with the action and asskicking till the morning." 

"Yes… God, I'm exhausted. The whole Bakkers thing was such a horrible mess… I hope Rogue and Saul will find Val. She's a pain in my ass but she's ok."

"So you know her well?", V asked, reaching for a slice of cold pizza.

"Yeah. Since we were kids. I stole her dad's car when I crashed mine while escaping the Raffen. Left her in the middle of the road."

V stared at Panam as if she grew a second head, "You left a child behind while escaping the Raffers?!"

"Her clan members were nearby, spying on her. She was ok. Either way, she can really hold a grudge. Still haven't forgiven me for it. And it's been, what… 10 years?"

"Shiiit… you're RUTHLESS!", Judy cackled and poked Panam with her foot, before going quiet for a moment and falling asleep. 

Panam and V exchanged amused looks. It was the first time neither of them saw Judy that drunk. V pointed towards the doors to the fire escape and both women left the apartment, letting Judy sleep. The air was pleasantly chilly, the streets almost empty, making the Night City seem almost deserted. The only indication of life were the colorful lights and the hushed buzz of the few cars that would pass Judy's building from time to time. V sat on the metal footpath and closed her eyes, trying to enjoy it all, when an idea hit her and she turned to Panam sitting next to her.

"Hey, you were there the day I woke up… you stayed with me the whole time before we went back to the camp, right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Do you know who scanned me? And did the transfer?" 

"Erm… I think it was that blonde chick… Bugbear? She left soon after. Why are you asking? Any issues with the system?"

"Yeah, you could say that. Nix and I did a bit of cross examination with my old backup. I have some of Johnny's engram data leftovers in my code."

"Shit… but what does that mean?"

"Somehow his code overwrote a part of my code. My personality. It's not huge, I'm not going to suddenly turn into him. But some people and situations seem to trigger his data and I may act… different."

Panam eyes went wide with realisation, "So that time you went ballistic at those scavers and blew up their hideout after you find out they were…"

"Yep. Johnny."

"Shiit… fuck… I hope I'll never have to meet that guy. He's fuckin insane..."

When Panam realised what she said, V's face fell and hands started shaking again. 

"V, I'm sorry. I bet he was different out of action. You two were good friends, right?" 

"Yeah… probably best. He was a raging asshole, driving me up a goddamned wall on a daily basis. But he got me. Probably more than anyone." 

Panam sniffed and smiled. She wrapped her arms around V, lost for words but hoping to comfort her as much as she could. They sat in silence for a while, until V gently pushed Panam away and sat up straight. 

"You ok?" Panam asked, observing how V's expression turned from startled to calculating. V's eyes turned red, a tell tale sign of her scanning the street and neighbouring buildings.

After a moment of heavy silence, V turned to her friend and said "Pan, give me your gun and go back to the apartment. Take Judy and hide."

"What?! What are you talking about?"

V stood up and pulled out Panam's piece from her holster, ignoring her protests "Just fuckin do it."

Just then a black SUV pulled up on the other side of the street and two men got out. Both dressed up in suits, tall and bulky. At first glance they looked more like Animals, but their movements were smooth and calculated, unlike the wild gang's members'. They scanned the street before moving their eyes up to the platform both women stood at, then straight at V, before releasing their mantis blades and walking over with slow, menacing pace. Before Panam had a chance to say anything, V opened fire. She hit one of the men in the shoulder, but it didn't seem to stop them in the least. 

"Go!" V shouted before leaping over the rails and down to the ground. Panam didn't wait for another cue, she crawled back into the apartment, hearing shots and screams, none of them belonging to V, and ran over to Judy. 

"Jude! Get up!" Panam called, slapping Judy gently on her right cheek to get her to open her eyes, but when the woman whined and pushed her hand away without waking up, Panam groaned in frustration and stood up. She quickly picked Judy up, throwing her over her shoulder. She made sure the woman was balanced securely and rushed toward the counter.

Panam grabbed V's discarded gun and bolted for the bathroom. It was the safest place she could think of. No windows, the doors had a lock. It wouldn't stop anyone from getting inside for long, but it would keep them out for some time. She gently placed Judy in the bathtub, brushed her hair away from her face with her free hand and after a moment of staring at her sleeping form she ran out, locking the doors behind her. She had to help, V couldn't do it alone.

Panam checked the front door, arming the lock with a quickhack she learned from V last week, and rushed back to the fire escape, the neon pink gun clutched in her hands. When she got outside. She leaned over the barriers, trying to spot her friend. Instead, she saw one of the men laying on the ground below her, his face shot out into a bloody, meaty mess. She felt a wave of nausea hit her, but she forced herself to get a grip and turned her eyes away from the body. Then, three shots deep from the alley to her left caught her attention and ran down the stairs towards the sound, jumping over the corpse. 

She found V behind the corner, fighting the other guy with her blades. Panam's gun, cut in half, was laying on the ground between them. They looked like vicious beasts, out to kill the other. Teeth bared, bodies tense, sparks flying each time the blades crossed between them. They were moving fast and viciously, the clancing of metal on metal bouncing off the walls of nearby buildings in deadly rhythm. Panam stood for a moment, surprised at V's abilities. It was like watching a stranger, she'd never seen the merc move like that. To think she was bitching at her for getting the cyberware too early. 

Panam finally aimed the gun at the guy's head, trying to keep her hands steady as her nerves started getting the best of her, but the adrenaline rush and the fast movements of her target weren't making it easy. Before she could pull the trigger, a shot sounded very close to her and a searing pain shot up her side. 

She could hear V scream her name, then cry out in pain. Panam pawed at her stomach, trying to cover the gaping wound that was bleeding faster than any other she's ever had. She felt herself get weaker and weaker, before her legs gave out and she fell to the ground. 

The last thing she saw before everything went black, was a chrome-skinned Hanako Arasaka smiling down at her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Thanks again for the kudos and comments! They really help me to keep going with writing this thing :D   
> Sorry it took so long to write this chapter. I hope you will like it.  
> Hope you'll enjoy it :)

Chapter 7 

V stumbled to the ground, grinding her teeth in pain and grasping at the gaping wound on her left arm, right above her elbow. Fucker really did a number on her. Her mantis blade hung limply from her numb forearm, scratching the ground. V used the moment the guy she was fighting with walked away to reach her thigh pouch and look for a BounceBack, when it hit her. He walked off. Why didn't he flatline her? 

V raised her eyes towards the alley. She was stunned into stillness. Her eyes moved between unconscious Panam, bleeding on the ground and Hanako Arasaka, standing nearby, shiny and immaculately dressed. V quickly scanned her friend, to make sure she was going to be ok. She was losing blood, a lot of it. Heart rate dropping. Damage to liver. V's instinct was to stand up and ran to her, but she knew it could do more harm than not. She had to stay put, for Panam's sake. The Arasaka goons were too close, their guns in their hands, ready to shoot anyone and anything that could threaten the heiress. V closed her eyes, and connected to her phone. She managed to send a quick SOS to Delmain and Vik, hoping they would arrive in time. And that Arasaka would just take her away and leave. Right now.

Hanako took a couple of steps closer towards V, slowly, observing her every move and recognizing the telltale signs the merc gave out in her panic. She smiled, it didn't matter. They would be done in a short moment. The bottom of her white coat brushed over Panam, before landing on the ground. The drag of the material didn't bother her. Quite the contrary. She recognized the spark within her. She enjoyed it. The fear she saw on V's face, the smell of blood in the air. This is what she dreamed of ever since she woke up. In a new body. In a lab. Her family dead. She reached her hand, accepting a gun from her bodyguard, a bulky tall man shadowing the Arasaka’s heiress every move. She finally stopped, a couple of feet away from V. Enough to keep a safe distance. Hanako still respected her skill and knew very well that even hurt and in pain, the merc could easily kill her. She used the surprise to her advantage.

“Hello, V. You look well.”

“So do you.” V's voice trembled, to Hanako's delight.

“Thank you. I am sorry we meet in such a setting. I would much rather have this conversation under better circumstances. But, you see, time is precious. Now tell me, where is Silverhand?”

V's face went even paler, a change barely noticeable under a colorful light of the newly installed neons, exclaiming something about a carbonated drink. She squeezed her arYm harder, “Johnny…? He died.”

“You're wrong. You and your friends weren’t as careful as you had thought. He left cyberspace at the same time as you have.”

“What… how? No. That's impossible. I would know!"

"Not according to the AI," Hanako purred, "It was a great help once we tracked it. To think a program claiming to be all-knowing would be smarter than leaving data traces all over Mikoshi."

V swallowed hard, her anxiety getting better of her, "You got to Alt?"

“Yes. But you don't have to worry about it anymore. We deleted it."

So V's last chance of finding out the truth… She wanted to contact Alt, she made arrangements. She was waiting for a call from Chang. She… 

“I see you are surprised. This changes my plans, unfortunately. In that case, I will propose a deal. I will give you two days to find Silverhand and deliver him to me. You should have no issues with this task, I know you had more complex commissions before. That case with the Peter Pan murders… I was impressed." Hanako knew about River? V closed her eyes and huffed through her nose, and the woman continued, "If you fail, I will personally destroy everyone and everything you hold dear. Before we go...” 

Hanako turned to look over her shoulder at her companion, and observed as the man walked over to V, violently pulled her head back and plugged into her head. 

V shouted as the red code erupted before her eyes, rapidly installing a bug in her system. it was too quick, too blurry. She's never seen anything like it before. She couldn't recognize it. She trashed, hoping it would stop, knowing deep inside that there was no stopping it. Once it was done, she fell back trying to catch her breath. She could feel the buzzing inside her, could hear it. Her body spazzed for a moment, her joints locked painfully, forcing her to lay down motionless and stiff. Hanako walked over to look V straight into her eyes, feeling bolder now that the merc was unable to move, staring at her like an interesting specimen. V gasped for air, trying her best to keep the painful whimpers inside.

“What did you do to me?” she hissed through her clenched teeth.

“I simply insured that you will do what I requested of you. And, won’t attack me or my men. Two days, V. I hope you will not disappoint me.”

With that Hanako disappeared from V’s line of vision. She could hear the group leave the alley, enter the car and drive off into the night. Only then did the hold on her body disappear. V groaned, turned on her side and pulled her limbs close to her body, her left arm still limply hanging off her body. She shivered, the cold of the ground was seeping through her clothes and damping the fabric. 

After a second she snapped out of her misery and forced herself to look at Panam. She was still breathing, thank God. V used her right arm to pull herself closer, huffing and groaning. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so weak. The sight of her sister dying in the dirty alley sparked her anger and pushed her to try harder.

Finally gathering enough strength, she forced herself to sit down against the wall next to Panam, just in time to see Vik appear from around the corner, confused and armed. Behind him was Jackie with the most vicious expression V ever saw on his normally smiling face. She stared at them confused for a moment, before chuckling in relief when Vik instantly went to work on Panam, not wasting even a second on V once he recognized that she was still in relatively good shape. Instead, Jackie approached her and grabbed her shoulders to look her over.

"Ow, Jackie, be gentle…"

"What happened here?!" he demanded, his voice sounding wet and heavy, "The fuck, V?! You're in NC for one day and you already get yourself in trouble?!"

"It's not like I planned it," V laughed, the situation seeming surprisingly ridiculous. 

She looked over to Vik, who was busy injecting Panam with BoundeBack and some Max Meds. The nomad finally opened her eyes with a loud gasp, before collapsing back on the ground, shaking but conscious. She's alive. She'll be ok. V closed her eyes and felt hot tears run down her face, her anxiety leaving her body all at once.

"Ok. We need to take her to my shop. She'll need some blood and rest. She'll be ok," Vik said before looking over to V, taking a closer look at her arm. He forced her mantis arm back into her forearm and closed it with a click, "You, on the other hand, seem to have pretty bad nerve damage. I'll have to take you back to the facility. I'll need more equipment to deal with it. Jesus, V…"

"It was Arasaka. Hanako is alive."

Jackie and Vik stared at her in silence, waiting for her to start laughing. She didn't.

"What are you talkin' about?!" Jackie demanded, his grasp tightening over her shoulders. 

V hissed, causing him to release her with a quick apology, before continuing, "She wants me and Johnny. God knows for what. Said he's alive. I have two days to find him. I…"

V sobbed. The heaviness of the revelation weighed heavier and heavier on her with every breath, like a boulder squeezing the air out of her lungs. She couldn't believe it. How was this possible? Why didn't he find her, contact her even? She allowed herself to lean against Jackie's chest and cry. 

Jackie looked at Vik, and shooed him with his hand. Vik nodded, before moving his attention to Panam who was now back to sleep. He stood up, gathered her in his arms and walked off towards his car, leaving the two alone for a moment. 

Jackie sniffed and patted V's back awkwardly. He wanted to tell her, he really did, but this… this was absolutely not the way he planned. Still, it had to be done. He took a deep breath and released it through his nose. His arms hugged her tighter to his body. Then…

"Johnny Silverhand has been living in my garage for the past couple of weeks."

V stiffened. She wasn't sure if she heard him right. She pushed herself away from him, her face tear stained but neutral, and looked him straight into his eyes. "What?"

"I found him in the city. In your old body. He doesn't remember anything. We call him by his real name. His last memory is from his time in the army. I'm sorry I kept it from you. But Robert…"

"Robert?" 

"Yes. Robert John Linder. He… we've been working on getting his memories back. He kinda knows what's what but…"

V's fist connected with Jackie's face with a loud crack. He collapsed back to the ground, his nose bleeding heavily. He groaned, but didn't otherwise protest in any way. He knew he deserved it. V forced herself to stand up, staring down at him with fury. She was shaking, her left arm hanging limp along her side. She looked ready to collapse if it wasn't for her anger and adrenaline keeping her on her feet. V raised her hand to her mouth to muffed a frustrated scream that tear itself out of her, her body doubling down and stumbling on her feet. Once she was finished, she wiped her cheeks, took a step back, then another towards Jackie and finally stopped - her chest moving with heavy laboured breaths. She looked at him, still on the ground, observing each of her moves. Once she calmed enough to speak, her tone was a bizarre mix od cold and cheerful.

"First you will take me to a netrunner. Then, you'll take me to a bar and buy me a drink. Then, you will take me to him. And you will never lie to me again, you fuckin asshole!"

Jackie nodded, spat blood onto the ground and stood up. He wiped his mouth and nose with his fist, then wiped it over his jeans. He looked at her, her eyes were still wet, when took a step closed to hug her again. She allowed him, loud sobs and cries of relief shaking her body. 

"Ok, chica. Let's go. Judy's already in the car."

"Ok."

***

Everything was dark. The air around him felt thick like water, though his skin and clothes were bone dry. He was floating, his entire body relaxed and light as a feather. And the silence… The silence was almost deafening. He exhaled, the hush of escaping his lungs sent ripples in the atmosphere around him, tickling his face and moving his eyelashes. He opened his eyes. And he saw Her. 

She stood below him, looking up at his face with a barely present smile. She was just like in his memories, the ones that came to him in his dreams. She was slimmer than he thought. Tall. Long limbs and freckled skin. She almost shimmered and shined in the darkness around them. He wanted to reach her, but before he even tried to move, she turned around and started walking away. The farther she walked, the louder the screams and gunshots became. He didn't notice them at first, but he could feel them. He could taste the fear of the men, then their viciousness. Then their thirst for blood. But he himself couldn't feel anything, except for an echo of longing. He opened his lips, his eyes fixed at Her, still visible and shiny in the distance. "Alt…"

Robert opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. His heart was beating like crazy, but the rest of his body was surprisingly calm. He took a deep breath and rubbed his hands over his face. Why would he dream about that woman. He couldn’t remember her, even when he’d read up about her she seemed more like a speck than an actual person who was supposedly a big part of his life. His mind instantly concentrated on V. The lingering, faint longing he felt in his chest each time someone would mention her. And mention her they did. More and more often. The idea of seeing her in front of him was scary, but thrilling one. Hopefully…

Hushed conversation back in Vik’s shop attracted his attention away from the red headed merc. He couldn’t make out what the subject of the conversation was, but he could clearly hear two female voices. Robert pushed himself off the couch Vik allowed him to sleep at when he got an urgent text message and ran off, leaving him alone and angry over Jackie’s outburst. Robert walked as quietly as he could to the edge of the curtain dividing him from the rest of the space. The voices stopped.

“Hello?” one of them called and Robert, deciding it was probably safe, took three steps forward and looked around. 

Two women sat on the medichair, their sides pressed close to one another. The one with green hair raised her hand to her lips, as soon as she saw him, the black haired one straightened, hissed in pain and doubled over. seconds lated a pair of steely gray eyes zeroed on his face with anger.

“You!” the brunette hissed.

“Hi.” Robert pushed his hands into his jean pockets and raised his chin. He waited for an insult. A berating. Anything. 

The brunette jumped off the chair and started walking towards him, confidently and aggressively, barely hiding the grimace of pain on her tanned face. 

“Panam! Stop!” called the green haired girl, but it was no use. Panam approached him like an angry beast, before stopping inches away from his face.

Robert stared right back, his neutral gaze making a stark contrast to her furious one. But neither of them made a single move. Her eyes shifted from one point of his face to another, from a freckle to an eyebrow, from slightly crooked nose to a small scar on his chin. V’s chin. Then up, to his chopped off, black-dyed hair. She huffed, the change seemingly annoying her further. But instead of a venomous comment or a push to his shoulder, Panam took a step back, her face slowly changing into a disappointed, or maybe resigned one. One more step, then another, until she finally turned her back to him and slowly walked back towards the other woman, who observed the whole scene with a worried look. 

Once Panam sat back on the chair, she apparently remembered her wound and grunted, pressing her palm against her bandaged stomach.

“You’re a fuckin asshole,” She said, waving her hand in his general direction.

“So I’ve been told,” Robert’s answer, to his surprise, made her smile. Not much, more of a stiff grimace, but it was enough. Apparently it was a good reaction, something she was either used to or what she expected.

“Sit down,” Panam pressed her left hand on the chair seat behind her and leaned back, “Vik went to his pad an hour ago. Jackie and V haven’t returned yet. Should be back soon enough.”

Robert nodded, his throat constricting slightly. He will meet her? Tonight? He pushed down the spark of anxiety. Somehow he felt this was not the time to show any type of vulnerability, and he could tell that he was still being tested. Panam’s eyes were still observing his every move with cold calculation, the momentary smile gone. He took a step over to the empty chair nearby and plopped himself down, his hands itching to reach for an abandoned pack of cigarettes lying on a crate to his right. Maybe later.

Now that he had a chance to take a closer look, he recognized the women before him. He knew he heard that name before... Panam Palmer, a nomad, V’s closest friend. The other one was Judy Alvarez, member of the Mox, BD artist. V trusted her with her life. He saw them in some of his dreams… or memories. Bits and pieces of V’s life from the time he was stuck in her head. Judy taking V diving, the merc ignoring his warnings about water toxicity. Panam and V cackling like crazy while shooting projectiles at abandoned cars scattered around the desert, watching them explode. They were nothing more than specks, like second-long videos flashing in front of his eyes. He sat more comfortably and smiled.

He looked at Judy, who was apparently uncomfortable by the whole situation and smiled, “I still can’t believe you talked V into that goddamned dive. Fuck if I know how you got so much strenght in those chicken legs, but damn… you can really kick when you have to, eh?”

Judy gawked at him, “You remember that? Vik said you…”

“Not all, no, but the more time passess the more flashbacks I get. I also remember you flirting with her.”

Robert grinned, observing as Judy’s face went red and Panam looked at her with surprised expression. 

“You and V?” she asked, leaning to her side to look at Judy with a raised eyebrow.

“It was a momentary lapse of judgement… Nothing’s happened.”

Panam looked back to Robert, waiting for his confirmation. And just like that, he knew what his new role would be in this bizzare little arrangement. He grinned and reached for the cigarette pack.

“Welllll….”

This is going to be fun.

***

It was almost 5 in the morning when V and Jackie approached the doors to Misty’s Esoterica. Jackie insisted that they go and see his output first, claiming he hadn't seen her in for too long and V should see her, too. 

Jackie was always a romantic, tipsy Jackie was almost intolerably clingy. V had no idea how Misty managed to deal with it for so long, but she couldn’t help but find it adorable. Usually. Except this time she couldn’t help but let out an annoyed groan and follow him with a huff. She was tired, exhausted even and couldn’t really care enough about anything but finding the first soft surface to pass out on. Still, she didn’t even try to change Jackie’s mind and shadowed his steps all the way from the Riot, where Vic dropped them off after their visit at Chang's hideout.

V adjusted her sling’s strap with her uninjured hand and waited for Jackie to open the doors, when the man stopped and closed the doors back up. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, waiting for some kind of explanation, when he pulled out a gun from his holster and pressed his finger to his lips. She reached her hand and waited until he pressed his second piece onto her palm and nodded. She moved closer to the doors and pressed her back to the wall by the entrance. She waited for Jackie to make his move.

He nudged the doors to slide open, and scanned the area. Nothing. V followed him inside, looking around the corners, making sure he didn't miss anything. They slowly approached the shrine area, the only part of the space that was illuminated by soft weak light. Then, the back doors opened. Jackie and V turned towards the entrance and waited. But instead of Arasaka goons, it was Misty who runned on the light and screamed when she noticed two guns pointed at her. She stumbled and hit her back towards the half opened doors, pushing them halfway out of the sliding hinges. 

"Jesus Christo!" Jackie placed his gun on the counter next to him and ran over to the woman, pulling her up to her feet and wrapping his arms around her, "Misty! Puta madre! Are you ok?!"

"What… in the hell… Are you two doing… sneaking around… With guns?!" Misty huffed out, pressing her hand to her chest, looking between V and her input.

"I heard glass breaking! And she lights are out! I thought Arasaka…"

"I dropped a jar, I left to pick up a broom from Vik's! It's 4 a.m.! Where have you two been?!"

V looked down to the ground beside the entrance. Sure enough, both Misty and Jackie were standing on broken glass, tiny flower petals scattered over the floor. A broom still in Misty's hand.

"Sorry, Misty," V said, walking closer to the pair, "It was a crazy day. We thought something's happened."

"Yeah, something did. You will pay for a new door," she smiled at the merc before turning back to Jackie, "Go down to Vik's. Everyone's there. I want to talk to V for a moment."

Jackie smiled and kissed Misty's head and after a moment he left. Misty looked down on the floor, then around the room, before deciding the swiping can wait and placing the broom against the wall. She looked up at V, her usual gentle smile back on her face, as she pointed her hand towards the counter and passed her to take her usual spot.

Misty waited for V to approach the chair and sit down, before pulling out a deck of cards and placed it in front of her, "Separate them with your left hand. Three piles." 

V did as told, smiling at the reminder. They did those so many times she knew exactly what to do, but she enjoyed the process and each of the steps it consisted of. She grabbed half of the cards and placed them on the counter, each pile closer to Misty, creating something like a bridge between both women. When she was done, Misty grabbed the pile closest to V, then the one in the middle, then the one in front of her and connected them back into one pile. She pulled the first card from the top and placed it at the counter. 

"The empress, reversed. This is you. You're stuck in stagnation, held back by your own fears. Instead of being proud and strong, you let the uncertainty chip away at your spirit. You've stopped listening to your intuition, letting your emotions take over." 

Misty ignored the huffed sound V made and placed another card next to the first. V knew this one, she saw it way too often in previous readings. 

"The devil?" 

"Reversed this time. You will break free from the bondage of fear and restrains you've placed upon yourself. You've allowed yourself to be overwhelmed by your desire for fame and money, being blind to what's really important. But things are changing, and will continue to do so. As long as you allow them." 

Another card, "The death." 

"Keeps getting darker and darker…" 

"The meanings are not literal. Death gives a signal that something new is approaching, something that will close the current chapter in your life. You will lose something, but gain something else." 

Another card.

"The tower. Chaos and destruction. You will have to stay strong and never look back. If you will, you may pay a bigger price than you may think. Last card… the sun. Renewal and bright future. The truth. Seems like you have an interesting time ahead of you." Misty looked up and V, studying her expression, waiting for her reaction. But she seemed unphased, calm. At least on the outside.

"Where is he, Misty?" V asked. 

"Downstairs, with the others. Leave the gun here. I doubt you're going to need it." 

The merc raised her eyebrow and looked up at Misty with confusion. Then she remembered, she never released the gun from her hand. She placed the piece on the countertop, ten moed her hand to pick at the stitching of her sling.

"Did you see him?" 

"Yes." 

"And…?" 

"You'll see."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaand it's here. This one was probably the most difficult chapter to write for me. I hope you'll like it!
> 
> Thank you all for Kudos and your lovely comments :) They really make me want to keep in writing. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Chapter 8

V walked into the alley and down the stairs, following a familiar path towards Vik's doors. She stopped in front of them, observing tiny scratches, trying to talk herself into pulling the handle. Fighting the overwhelming urge to run. She was always the first one to fight, always ready to jump and reach for what she wanted. But now that she was finally here and the anger she felt before melted into annoyance, the anxiety made it hard to breathe. She knew she had to do this. She wanted to. She needed to see him. Johnny... 

V pushed the door open and walked inside. 

The first she noticed were Vic and Jackie, sitting next to the desk closest to the entryway, watching a boxing match on an old TV. The shop was almost empty, except for those two and Judy, who was moving around the space looking for something in a cupboard over the nearby workstation. She could hear Panam laughing somewhere behind the curtain that was used to separate the shop from the makeshift living space Vik used during emergencies. She wasn't alone, that much V could make out. Aside from Panam's cheerful giggles, another voice could be heard, this one a bit deeper. More melodic and similar to hers. But not, at the same time. 

V walked out of the dark entryway into the reddish light, holding her breath, her eyes turned towards the direction of the laughter. She ignored the people around her, each of whom stopped in their tracks and fell silent observing her every step. The anticipation made her blood pump faster, her heart beat stronger. Step by step - as delicately as she could, concentrating on the voices, the words of which she couldn't understand through the loud pulse in her ears - V finally approached the curtain and grasped the material in her trembling fingers. The voices went silent for a moment, before the one belonging to Panam hitched with a sharp gasp. The other voice changing its pitch into a questioning one. And then V pulled on the material and felt her body freeze up. 

Among opened boxes and scattered magazines and pictures, V recognized a tanned face of her sister and the pale one that looked exactly like her own. One that used to belong to her. The other V was more delicate than her, fragile. When V herself had plenty of time to work and build up her body, the other V looked like someone had her locked up in a dark room for weeks. It was like looking at herself, but from another world. At least that's what she thought at first. Until their eyes met. She recognized a spark she's never seen in her own reflection before. A spark common in people who had nothing to lose. But she knew it, she recognized it. She saw it so many times before. Right before a snide comment, a rude joke, a promise. The idea was so ridiculous and so unreal that she couldn't help bursting into nervous laughter. The other V looked at her, eyebrows lowering from their previous position closer to her hairline. The spark disappeared for a moment, making place for uneasiness. It was gone the second V's laughter turned into sobs.

She couldn't stop. No matter how ridiculous it was, she was sure at this point that she cried more in the last couple of hours that she had in the last year. But the overwhelming feeling of relief and happiness was too much for her. She collapsed down to her knees feeling pain shoot up her bones as her kneecaps hit the concrete. In her shock she barely noticed it. V closed her eyes and pressed her hands to her mouth, trying not to scream. He was here, he was alive! He’s here! Finally! 

She could hear the rustling of the paper being kicked away, as a thumping sound of army boots approached her in swift steps. Someone stopped in front of her, sat on the floor, and after a moment she could feel them press themself to her front, wrapping their arms around her shoulders. She could smell the scent of soap and whiskey mixed with the weak stench of cigarettes. She choked on a sob. It was so familiar and not at the same time. Her nose could remember it well. A virtual trace imprinted into her memory, so different from the smell of motor oil and sun, that lingered around Panam wherever she went. When she felt fingers comb through her short hair and scratch her scalp in a comforting manner, all she could do was to collapse against the body, burying her nose in the fabric of a black hoodie. She could hear a faint voice, that bizarre mixture of her own and Johnny’s, mutter into her ear. The words were calm, creating a contrast from the emotions wrecking through her body. 

“It’s ok, you’re ok.”

She could hear a faint sound of doors being open and closed in the distance. Panam must have said something, because V could feel Him nod against her cheek. Another hand landed on her shoulder for a second. Couple of moments after the sensation disappeared, they were alone once the doors closed for the last time.

She wasn't sure how long they stayed on the cold concrete floor. It wasn't before she couldn't cry anymore, that she pushed herself gently away to look at the face that looked so similar to her own. At first it was bizarre, it was like looking at her own past. All of her scars were there, the ones she almost forgot about since they've been gone when she woke up weeks ago. The crooked nose was there, so different from her straight one. A little bump on her upper lip poking over the line of the mouth stretched into a thin, tentative smile. The only thing she didn't remember where the black locks that clung to her, no - his forehead. His cheeks were flushed red. He seemed confused and happy at the same time as if he didn't really expect such a reaction from his own body. Her body. Their body. V pressed her hands to the sides of the face before her and leaned her head forward. Their foreheads touched noses aligned. Eyes closed. Their breath mingled, heavy with warmth and the stench of alcohol. She wasn't sure who was more tipsy, but it didn't matter. Nothing else mattered at that moment, except for the silence, the warmth and the closeness they both shared right then and there.

****

Robert couldn’t believe it. There she was - in his arms. Closer than he’d ever imagined he’d get a chance to have her. He couldn’t explain the emotions that wrecked through his body, as he rocked them both side to side, relishing in her warmth, trying to comfort her as much as he could. He’d never felt this way before. So filled with joy. And confusion, which started to disappear as soon as she pressed her face to his neck. As if she was an answer to everything that he couldn’t understand. 

It was like she pressed a button and a wave of memories hit him all at once. It was like a sped up film, all the scenes of their time looking for the cure, the ones he remembered faintly after his chat with Panam and Judy, suddenly started replaying with her by his side, as if someone forgot to place her in them at first and changed their mind after some time. 

He remembered them meeting Panam for the first time, V rolling her eyes at his snide comments. He remembered the dive and how scared he was seeing her lying on the pier, unconscious and pale, and the relief when she took a loud gasp of air and started coughing. He remembered her sarcasm and gleeful giggles and angry screams. And her smile. The same that was on her face right now, shining through the tears and red blotches on her cheeks and snot underneath her nose. 

Robert couldn't help but snort and move his hand to wipe her face clean with his sleeve. She swatted at his arm gently in protest with a wide smile and a chuckle. Once he was done and satisfied with his work, he pushed himself off the ground and pulled her up to her feet, mindful of the sling and her damaged arm. 

He wanted to laugh at himself - at his anxiety, his terror he felt at the mere idea of meeting her. Now that she was right before him, he could feel nothing but overwhelming calmness. 

Robert led her to the couch and once she was comfortably perched against the backrest, he joined her, never letting go of her hand. He couldn't bring himself to release her, but she didn't mind. She held on just as tightly, staring at their joined hands laying on the brown upholstery between them. 

When Robert cleared his throat, she looked up to meet his eyes. 

"Hello, V." 

"Hi."

"I know I'm not what you expected…"

"Shut up. I thought you died."

"Yeah… but I'm here. Thanks to you."

V grinned and squeezed his hand, "To think you were trying to kill me at first!"

Robert's smile withered, his eyes went wider. Yes, that… That did happen. He remembered. The vision of her on the floor, cowering in panic as he stood over her, filled with rage, his fist raising over his head. 

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah…" V sighed, "You've already apologized for that one."

"I did?"

"Well… not really. But I know you wanted to," she laughed.

"I was such an asshole…"

"Yep."

"How did you put up with me?"

"Took me some time. I got used to it."

"Thanks." Robert snorted, pushing himself deeper into the cushions. "You know… in the last couple of days I've started to remember. All the shit and asskicking we used to do…"

"Haha! We did that a lot, choom. Remember the fight with that Animal chick?"

"What was her name again? Elephant?"

"Rihno!" V cackled, throwing her head back, "That bitch was crazy! That look she gave me? I almost shat myself!"

"I know, me too!"

"Johnny Silverhand? Afraid of a girl?!"

Robert paused for a moment, his grin slowly turning into a frown. He looked down at his knees and licked his suddenly dry lips. V noticed the change and sobered up quickly, giving his now limp fingers another squeeze.

"What is it?"

"Robert," he said.

"Robert?"

"My name is Robert Linder."

V moved closer and bent down, her face appearing in his line of sight. "Hi Robert."

She smiled. Although he could see surprise and sadness lingering in her eyes for a moment, soon they were clear and cheerful again, as if it took her mere seconds to accept it. Accept him. He couldn't remember ever feeling such a strong urge to kiss someone as he did at this moment. But, he didn't. Instead, he smirked at her and sat more comfortably on his seat.

"Hi V."

***

River sat behind his desk, sipping on stale, cold coffee. He couldn't tell how much time has passed since he locked himself to organize his case files, dividing the closed and open ones into two neat piles. 

Ana, his assistant, left some time ago, scolding him for not eating his lunch and requesting a day off for tomorrow. He agreed, she deserved it. Ever since he hired her, the girl was a great help. She kept his office in relative order, took the calls from clients and sent flowers to his sister whenever he was too busy rummaging through dusty storage halls and filthy alleys to remember their Tuesday Family Time. She dealt with everything he couldn't. He really should give her a raise.

River sighed and stretched his arms and legs, being mindful of the warning creaking sound his chair made underneath him. He really should replace it… He looked at the clock hanging over his doors. It was almost midnight. So much for a healthy sleeping pattern. 

He pushed himself away from his desk and stood up, taking the last sip from his cup with a grimace, before grabbing his coat and walking towards the door. He should at least get something to eat before going back to his apartment. He really needed to rest. But just as he pressed his hand on the handle, his phone rang loudly, surprising him enough to make him jump.

He sighed, glaring at the phone on Ana's desk over his shoulder, hoping his nasty expression would make it stop. Alas, the damned machine kept making those shrilling noises, refusing to stop. River groaned and approached it in three fast strides. He grabbed the receiver and took a deep calming breath, hoping that it's just the power company. Complaining at his timely payments. In the middle of the night.

"Ward Detective Agency", he said. Rubbing his palm over his eyes.

"River? It's Rita. Wheeler." Ah, yes. The Mox bouncer. He remembered her well. They flirted once or twice during his visits to the Facility. 

"Hi Rita. What's up? Wanna ask me out on that date you've mentioned before?"

"Hah, you wish. Nah, this is about business. Listen, we just got this one girl delivered. She has no ID, she won't talk… She seems absolutely out of it. Normally I wouldn't fuss too much, but she keeps asking about her mother. Would you mind terribly coming over and seeing her?"

"I thought you had it covered with the dolls?"

"Ya, that's the thing. She's not a doll. Some guy found her unconscious by the road a couple of miles outside of NC. Brought her to us to help out."

River sighed, "Fine. I'll be over in a second."

"Thanks. See ya!"

River hung up the phone and hung his head low. Another all-nighter. Great. He walked to the small kitchenette in the corner and poured himself another cup of coffee for the road. 

Maybe it's time he offered V a job…


End file.
